Happy New Year!

As 2009 comes to a close I am reminded of this time last year. We were in much the same place but even still I think we are in SO much of a better place mentally than last year.

Last year my Goals were these:

1. Support my husband in his getting of a job
CHECK

2. Get a job
CHECK- got two

3. Attempt to keep house, like literally
CHECK- and then up in the air again

4. Try to keep my cool better and not get annoyed as easily
(this might be more of a resolution...)
CHECK- but hey I can't take all the credit.

5. Try to get over my fear of getting pregnant and get pregnant
CHECK and CHECK

6. Be the best mommy I can be to Grayson
sadly I don't I can CHECK this one. Too little time with him, too little quality playing when I was. :(

7. Get organized in my head, heart, life and house
partial check

8. Maintain a workout routine.
I would like for this one to be lose weight but if I achieve #5 that just won't be possible
HAHAHAHAHAHAH!- unless Target counts then CHECK

9. Be kind with my words but first in my heart
CHECK- still a work in progress but I feel good about it

10. Try to be less of a hermit and call my friends more
CHECK- sort of. Friends have come and gone and I am pretty busy, but when I can I do.

This year my goals are about the same.
I want to be the best mom and wife I can be and enjoy my life.
Whatever that means.

I am not going to write a laundry list again even though I feel pretty good about the list I accomplished last year.

I guess you could say my New Years Resolution is 'KISS'.
Keep it simple stupid. :)

Happy New Year friends and family alike! Hugs and I hope 2010 is an amazing year for all of us!

And this is why I call him STARFISH!

This is before my child decided to stretch out.

This is after. See the bulge? That is an almost straight legged baby stretching. Its the oddest feeling!

Can someone please remind my child that he is not in the roomy presidential suite?

Oregon Weather Report

A few days ago I looked at my iphone's weather report for the week. For today it had listed a combo of rain and a few flakes. Okay fine.

Yesterday's weather report said for today that we might have a few flakes but it probably wouldn't stick.

They were wrong.

Again.

It snowed.

And snowed. And stuck.

And snowed some more.

This is not long after I left work for the evening at 430.

There is between 2-3" stuck. Luckily, I live only a few miles from work. I hate driving in the snow. I did try to get up our (tiny) driveway, only to almost slide into Zack's car.

Twice.

I gave up. That is my van across the street.
I decided with our luck lately there was no point in pushing it!

Only in Oregon can you leave for work in the morning in a sweatshirt (granted it was 34*) and need a snow suit/parka by afternoon!

Natural pregnancy induction tricks?

Okay, I know they say baby will come on his own and all that crap but you know what I am DONE. D O N E! And the way I look at it is that if it works then its meant to be and its time, right? Right!

So here I sit drinking raspberry/cranberry juice with a (real) raspberry tea bag steeped in it for maximum raspberry effect. I am having some good contractions but nothing that I know it moving anything or going to produce a baby.

So my question is, what worked for you? Have you heard of a good remedy that supposedly works? The only one I am not willing to try and report on is the Caster Oil. But really who wants to hear all the nasty goings on of my bowels... oh wait... but really, I don't want to share! Otherwise, I will try most anything and report back on well, if it works. :)

So ladies and gents (what did your wife/sister/mom do) get those natural induction remedies coming! I want to have this baby. :)

Soon!

(disclaimer: I realize that none of these remedies are without a possible side effect and that my baby will ultimately come when he comes, whether that be now at 37 weeks and 3 days or at 43 weeks, due to a trick or tip or not.)

Traditions

I tend to gravitate toward the traditional. I love being a stay at home mom, making dinner and baking and having those traditional roles. I love everything domestic.
Except dishes and laundry but really who likes those?
I love to have routines. Traditions.

Every year I strive to have a better and better Christmas for my child(ren).

For as long as Zack and I have been together we have gone driving to see Christmas lights in the area. We have hidden a pickle ornament in our tree. We have started our Christmas morning as we both did as children. Stockings first. Then gifts.
(we were usually made to wait in our families for a bit, for parents to wake up or breakfast but we don't wait!)
Two years ago we started the tradition of cutting down our own Christmas tree.
Last year we started doing an Advent Calendar that we got from Costco.
This year we started a few new traditions. A paper ring chain, counting down the days to Christmas. And of leaving a note to Santa, cookies and milk.

So tell me. What are your traditions?

Ho Ho Came!

Those are the words we heard the second we were woken up!
Grayson was so excited. First we had to go to the window and see if Ho Ho was still in the front yard.
Nope.
But the reindere food we put out was gone. Then we gathered ourselves together and went downstairs.
This is how it all looked before.

G was very excited to see that Ho Ho enjoyed his cookies and milk.
Ho Ho even left him a little note about continuing to be a good boy and thanking him for the treats.

And this is the train wreck after we finally got through the unwrapping. I always love this part the best personally.

But at the end of the day it really is just about the box!

Thank you Grandma Linda!


Thank you Papa!

Merry Christmas!

Thankful Thursday!

Today I am Thankful for:
1. Being 37 weeks pregnant.

2.
For a lovely holiday season.
And a fabulous Christmas morning with my son, who hopefully will remember this one for a while.

3.
For the many people who helped make this Christmas special.
You know who you are, even if I don't and we are thankful.
thank you.

4.
For Christmas lights.
We went tonight to tour our town and had a lovely time showing G the fun snow globes (marbles), blow-up Ho Ho's and lights.

5.
Pickles.
It's the little things in life.

oh so sad

What happens when you start with a 21' Christmas tree. Subtract 2 feet from the top and a foot or two off the bottom.

Now attempt to get it in the house and in the stand.

Subtract 4-5' from bottom and ADD back on the 2' from the top.
(with wire)

At first this math works out to a gorgeous tree.
BUT

Eventually it ends up looking like this

Yup that is the top 2' dangling because it not longer drinks the water we provide.
obviously.
It is also brown. Luckily it is SO far up there you can barely tell that part. :)

Merry Christmas from our 16' Charlie brown tree!

*Zack did get back on the ladder and rewire it straight so it would look normal again.

Ho Ho, in the flesh!

Yesterday we decided to go to the mall and visit Santa. We had visited once before when we met a friend at the mall play area for a play date last month. He was a great Santa and since we had not dressed up for the occasion, I really wanted to get back for a proper picture.

Here is G waiting patiently in line.
For an hour and half.

Notice he is wearing his super hero cape from last Christmas.
We just unpinned it from being too long!

Finally he got his turn. He hopped right up on Santa's lap and told him he wanted a candy cane for Christmas.
AGAIN.
(he said the same thing last time)

Santa finally got him to say he'd like a "special present- maybe a race car!"
Then they hugged and G hopped off and out we went.

And on the way home he fell asleep.
Hey, even a Superhero has to sleep!

a Kitchen for Grayson!

I can't remember if I blogged it or not but last year Zack started to work on a play kitchen for Grayson.
One thing led to another and it just didn't get finished. Saturday, he finally finished it. I LOVE how it looks and can't wait to see Grayson's face when he gets to play with it Christmas morning. :) I am so proud of my handy hubby!

Thank you!

Dear "Santa's Helper",
Thank you for the money you sent.
It was a very sweet surprise and we are thankful and always in awe of the kindness of "strangers" and loved ones a like.


(I blog this because I have a feeling its someone who reads.
And without a signature or return address I cannot properly thank them.)

(Also, if you were the person who sent the chocolate covered strawberries after we returned home from having Jonathan I am still thankful for that kind gesture and it still bothers me that I cannot properly thank you.)

If either one of you would like to come out of the wood work so I can thank you properly, that would be lovely! ~J

Its all about the boxes

yes that is a stool on Zack's shoulder and blocks in his lap.

Ruffles and Ruffles

A while back I saw this tutorial for this skirt. It was a freeby but now you have to pay for the pdf.
Here is the original blog skirt- I think. Here is a less detailed one too.
I got inspired. It is SO cute and I am a sucker for ruffles!

(Please Universe let me have a girl someday. amen.)

So what have we here? A pile of ruffles. Oh yes!

And here is the almost finished skirt.

Tada! All done. I hope Sophie likes it. She got it for her 6th birthday the 24th.

Thanful Thursday- Saturday edition. :)

Sorry this is a bit delayed. Thursday was my LOOOONG day this week. I worked my nanny job from 11-430 then ran G home to Zack and went to Target from 515-midnight. Very long day indeed. I had no chance or will to blog. Yesterday I worked my nanny job* then ran home and finished Sophie's skirt. {more on that tomorrow}

So without further delay! Today I am Thankful for:
1. Being in my 37th week of pregnancy. I officially have 26 days left (but whose counting!?) until my EDD. I have still only gained about 5 lbs. My midwife assures us he is growing fine. Have I told you lately I am DONE. I am so ready for him to get out! :)

2. My very generous father and Zack's very generous mother. Between the two and their very helpful monetary gifts for Christmas I am not feeling as weighed down to work so hard (40-60 hours lately.) Nor am I am worried about going immediately back to work at T was soon as baby is born. I was planning only a 2 week "maternity leave", now it will be more like a month to 6 weeks, unless Zack gets a job. THANK YOU VERY MUCH! We really appreciate it.

3. T and their team member relief fund. I always knew that T was generous in the community and I asked our HR if there was any help for team members. Turns out there is a one time gift of up to $500. We applied and received $400. That also helps a ton.

4.* My nanny family. I worked late on Thursday and then got a text message the next morning that I wasn't needed until 11, instead of 730. And they came to our house. We made "gingerbread" houses out of graham crackers. I later found out when their mom, Lesley, picked them up that she partly had me start late because I had worked so late. So thank you.

5. On the same note. Thank you Lesley and Sam for the generous gift of an extra week of paid maternity leave. I now have a full month off.

So I guess there are really angels watching out for us right now. I am feeling the holiday spirit more than ever this holiday season. Thank you to everyone who has helped a little or a lot. We really appreciate it and know that this bump in our road is mearly that. We will get through this and we better for it. And for that I am Thankful.

A hat for Hotdog

I wanted to make this hat for Hotdog. Our of this lovely green yarn I had laying around.


I set out. Made a gauge (which I have never bothered with!) and adjusted my needles down for the thicker yarn.

And yet... this is what I ended up with.

It fits me and Zack around (with room!) and G too
though its the height of a baby head.

Doh!

I emailed some friends to see if there was anything to do... I didn't wait for a reply. This is Hotdog's hat now.

I have high hopes of getting it finished but so far I have cast on (about 2/3 the pattern) and that is it. :( Someday...

*Update* Fall from Grace

Yesterday Zack made all appropriate calls to the lawyer(s) etc who is handling the wage garnishment. They were able to stop the bank account one, which would have yielded little anyway since we wiped it out, but they were not able to stop my Target wages from being garnished. I guess they can only take a certain portion (anything over $170 a week is fair game I guess) So for 90 days I will watch as they take part of my check.

Don't get me wrong. Its not like we don't want to pay our debts. They are ours after all. But unfortunately, unless I win the lottery it just isn't going to happen right now. We can not afford to pay the bills from the failed business and life during Zack's (previous) unemployment and live our life with heat, water and food. We just can't. So after 90 days we will work out a payment plan, which we tried to do but because the garnishment was already in place we were unable to do.

I am feeling better the last 2 days. Not exactly hopeful but better. I know I have many things to be thankful for. Many blessings that are HUGE. I totally know that. But sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel seems SO far off!

I was thinking yesterday about how at the beginning of 2009 everyone (friends family and random readers alike) were commenting that 2009 was going to be our year and it was going to be so much better... and that was a YEAR ago!!! I can't even believe it. Where did the year go? REALLY? WHERE?! I have no idea. I know when I think back I know I lived it (or worked it away I am not sure more of which) but really, how did that happen so fast?

I feel like I was sleep walking through 2009.

Fall from grace.

3 am. That is what time I woke up this morning. I have been tossing and turning for over an hour. I guess the stress and pressure is just too much right now. And wouldn't you know it I am supposed to work both jobs today- starting at 730 ending at 11 pm. ugh.

Do you ever feel like you are chasing your tail? Like no matter what you do you are stuck in groundhog day?

Two days ago we got a wage garnishment notice in the mail from one of the credit card companies we owe from last year when Zack was unemployed. What I didn't realize when I read it, the sinking feeling filling my stomach, is that they had already put in to our bank to start pulling. Zack found that out when he called the lawyer for the CC company. He ran to the bank and pulled out what was not already paid to bills. Hopefully they don't take that before it comes out. Hopefully they don't get to Target before we work it out.

They might be willing to work out a payment plan. They won't know until today. We have been supposed to file bankruptcy for a year. But it costs money. Now there is a catch 22! We don't have money. And now with the mortgage modification pending we have to wait until its finalized or they can take the house. Joy. Just keeps getting better and better.

I can feel a huge mental breakdown on the horizon for me. I hate the pit in my stomach I have come to know. I hate the fact that everything is on me right now. And I am about to give birth any second. Then what? Who carries it then? I know much is out of my control, but I feel like the universe has once again taken a giant crap on our family. When does it end? When is enough, enough? I don't know if there are enough meds in the world to head off what I feel is coming if something doesn't give soon.

If the universe is trying to break my spirit it just might be working. I am barely holding it together right now. I am one of those people who puts on the brave face and makes it work. The "just keep swimming" sort. I carry the load and make it work. I act like its all fine and things will work out. And sometimes I even believe myself. Until I can't. Then I fall to pieces. In a soggy blubbering mess of tears.

So here I sit at 430 in the morning blogging to the world, the universe PLEADING to just let up! Please! I don't know how much more I can take.

Thankful Thursday! 35 weeks.

Today I am Thankful for:

1. Being 35 weeks pregnant. He seems to be growing well, he feels HUGE to me... but then again when your middle third has a life of its own it tends to feel HUGE so I am not a good judge I guess. Hard to believe that I could have this baby in the next few weeks and by the end of January he will be here for sure. Ready or not!

2. My friend Di, who helped me paint the base coat on Hotdog's room. I hope to get the mural done before he is here, but *ahem* is all up to Geneva's schedule (no pressure! :P really!) Pics to follow when its finished.

3. My hubby is doing such a nice job of keeping the house tidy and clean. I could not do that on top of working 50 (average) hours a week. It looks gorgeous when I come home and it makes me very happy. I feel so much more stress when my house is in chaos.

4. My hubby and son for doing the Christmas decorating (most of it) while I was working. (Makes me a little sad but I just don't have time for everything I would like to do.) They did a great job and its lovely!

5. That no matter what happens in the next few weeks I know we will be ok. Things might get worse before they get better but we always float back up. I guess it just makes that saying true... Hope floats. :)

Apparently

He likes my belly button!

Christmas Decor 09

I know I may have to join Christmas Decorators Anonymous but here is our Christmas tour of 09!

One of my favorite pieces, my antique tea cart, with a tiny fraction of the village.

When I was a kid my mom had a tree like this, but it got broken. After Zack and I got married I found someone online and had one made.

These Princess house hurricane lamps my Nana gave me for my birthday when I was 19 (I think), another fave.

Our little artificial tree- complete with pine tree air freshener. :)

And the stockings were hung by the stair case with care...

Grayson calls our advent calendar his "coo-coo clock"- I love Grayson-isms.


The living room where the big tree resides, dwarfing our furniture and room.

The big tree in its full glory. Well not really since I am using my iphone... too lazy to go find the real camera I have not pulled out in months.



looking up into the big tree from the floor.



I am also joining The Tip Junkie's virtual home tour, go check out everyone else's amazing decor she has posted over there!