Reiki Doula

I had been looking for a Doula for quite a while. I posted here, Facebook, and The Unnecessarian.com.
Nada.
No leads that actually got anywhere.

I had looked on Craigslist. A ton.
Then one day, near the end of my pregnancy I saw an ad that caught my attention.
It was for Reiki Massage Doula service.


Reiki is basically healing with energy. I have always found alternative medicine fascinating, so I met with Shannon. She told me a bit about Reiki, about Massage and her life and family. Our second meeting was at our house. She came to do a massage before we decided to proceed as her as our Doula.

She was at our house over two hours doing a massage and some Reiki at the end. It was AMAZING.

I can't praise Shannon and her skills enough! She was amazing and supportive and fantastic.
She let me lead what I needed and offered suggestions when I ran out. She tirelessly massaged and touched me for hours and hours- close to 20. She rested a bit when I did, but if I needed her she was there. Completely.


If you are in the Portland area and need a masseur, birth doula or Reiki please contact Shannon.
You can contact her from here:
http://www.myspace.com/chakrababies

Jaxon's Birth story ~Looonnng~

Jaxon's birth started like I had always hoped and as I had never actually known it would. I had woken up that day thinking something felt "off", I wasn't sure what, but something was different. I told Zack not to expect anything exciting but that things felt weird. "antsy but lazy, calm but easily annoyed and very restless" was how I described it throughout the day.

I was at work with my nanny kids, having not had any contractions at all that day, even going to play at the children's pizza play land had brought on very few. We came home to their house and everyone went down for a rest. At 2:30 pm I sat down to rest and catch the last few minutes of General Hospital, I felt the first two contractions. 10 minutes apart. I would not have noticed the first if the second had not come on so quickly and if both weren't so long (about a min) I watched them for a 30-45 minutes when I decided they were getting longer/stronger. This was probably it.

I texted Zack and told him what was going on. Then I texted my boss and said I thought things were moving and he should start packing it up and head home. He said he was on his way. I went about the house, picking things up and getting ready to go home. Watching the contractions come and go as I walked. Zack and I formed a plan. I would head home with G and take a shower and we could reassess before we took G to our friends house.

It got revised by the time I walked in the door. The contractions were 8-9 minutes apart and about 1 min long. While I showered Zack took Gray to our friends house. (THANKS GRETCHEN!!)

I got out and finished gathering the last of the things we needed and off we went. I had planned on laboring at home as much as possible but last Tuesday I was told I was 4 cm and 80% effaced, meaning it could go very quickly or not at all. It took over and hour and half to get our designated hospital.

At 7:45 when we walked in we was greeted by my Doula- Shannon (more on her later) and we all preceded in together. I was checked and told I was 5 cm and 100%. They were about 4 minutes apart by this point.

I was admitted and I settled into my room for the night. I labored on a birth ball and in a giant heated tub as I had planned with Shannon massaging me the whole time, Zack helping when he was comfortable. When the tub got to be too much I headed back to my room. I was checked again and told I was still a 5cm "my 5" the midwife told us. That was about 10. I was very uncomfortable and doubting that I would be able to do this. I doubted I wanted him out at all. I begged the Universe to just shut it down and hang on to him in there!

From 10:30pm-12am I managed to get from 5 cm- (the same MW's) 8/9cm! I had a few rounds of IV med's to help with the pain.

3 am came and I was still miserable. I had been laboring for 12 hours at this point. I had not given up hope that he would come sometime soon, vaginally. I continued to labor on the birth ball. It was the most comfortable position. I was checked again and told I was still at 8/9cm.
We decided to break my water. I decided to have an epidural not much later, I was very sleepy and very uncomfortable. I just didn't feel like my natural pain receptors were filtering as much as I needed them to be. Not long later I was checked again and was 9.5 cm.


About 6am the midwife came in and said that OB wanted to talk to us too. She recommended that we start Pitocin in my IV to see if we could get that last bit of cervix to thin out and make baby's head further down into my pelvis as he had yet to engage. I burst into sobs. I had not wanted to have ANY interventions and to me this was the one that would send me into c section land. Pit had done it before I was sure. (and it may have- but I don't know)

Turns out on part of it I was right. 3 hours later the OB came back in to tell me they recommended a C section, that my body wasn't cooperating and because baby's heart rate had dropped with every contraction since about midnight they felt that it was the most beneficial for both of us. I finally relented.

More tears.

I felt SO defeated! I could not make myself feel like less than a failure. This child was SUPPOSED to come out naturally and it was supposed to be beautiful. Now it was a mess and there was no going back.

I prepped for surgery and was wheeled in after a hug from Shannon, a kiss from Zack and a pat from the doctors. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I was told what was happening as things were done to me. The OB was great, the nurses were fantastic and all went well. It was a very long surgery though, more than 2 hours compared to a usually (Grayson's) 40 minutes procedure because I had a lot of scar tissue that had adhered to everything after Grayson's surgery.

It should not prevent any further children but the Dr. does recommend I not try for another Vbac and make sure to have the next Dr. read my charts from this surgery first.

Picture a hacksaw through skin.

That's what it felt like.

Yes, felt like. My epidural had not gone as evenly as we would have liked, and from laboring on my right side not long before the decision was made to have a C section, it was even less so by the time I got into the operating room. Luckily, I had an amazing anesthesiology nurse who kept me very comfortable when I told her I could feel things.

By the time I was finished it was well over 2 hours and I had lost about 1800 cc's (?) of blood. I ended up having a transfusion later that day.

Jaxon Ryan made it into the world at 10:38 am. As he was coming out someone on the other side of the curtain said "Well no wonder! He was NOT coming out vaginally no matter what!"

It turns out his cord was wrapped tightly around his tummy 3 times. He was stuck. My attitude changed in that moment from it being all about me not getting what I wanted, to thank goodness he is ok! No, its not what I would have liked and now I feel like I was filleted and put back together backwards but at the end of the day he is here.

He is healthy and he is mine.

Thank you for all the email hugs and support and FB love you all have shared in the last few days! We really appreciate it!

Jaxon Ryan
8lb 14 oz
22.5 inches long
14.5 inche head

40 weeks!!

(lets try that photo again- shall we!)
Still no baby! No major contractions. :(

And I even just reinstalled 2 carseats and a booster seat and vacuumed my van out! You'd think it would have done something. Eventually, he HAS to leave right?!

(as I fix the sideways and way too big photo- from my blogwriter on my phone- I am having some contractions and am feeling more pokies. We shall see. Tonight would be inconvenient so of coarse he will come! 5:01pm :)

1 day to go! {39 weeks/ 6 days}

Well, today is mostly over and I have not had my third baby yet. :)

I was a little hopeful that I would at least end up at the hospital since my midwife will be there and she could finally after 5 years and 3 babies, deliver ONE!

Alas, the "things" we have tried today have not brought it on. At the Children's Museum I ended up sitting most of the time as I was just plain uncomfortable, then things calmed down. He seems lower but he isn't moving out yet.

In other news, Grayson's 3rd birthday seems to have made him very happy. I don't think he really understood why he had no friends for a party, but we promised a 1/2 year party at the park with a pinata so that made him happy. And it may happen sooner than that, but its really hard to plan a party when you have no idea if you can be there or not!

This morning I made pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream. Then we packed up all our hospital gear (just in case since I was having so many pains.) and headed to the Children's Museum for a few hours. He had a great time playing in the water area

and the different exhibits including Clifford the Big red dog. One of his faves!

After we left there we went to McDonald's where it became very evident that I am officially OLD! We were there when the high school across the street apparently got out. Two large groups "stormed" the place. One taking over the small child area, including rolling around the play log. This is where Grayson had been attempting to play, so this immediately grumpified (YES ITS A WORD!) me. I watched for a few more minutes, noticing another group sitting closer to us, thinking I was staring AT them because their big heads were in the way of me seeing my child.
We told G we had to go, who immediately got upset because he had been asking for a week to go there. (He says "So, I have been thinking... we should go to McDonald's!)

I went to find the manager. See, I told you I am OLD! By-by teenagers. Sad. I just don't remember being that disrespectful to general people around me. They were not even buying anything- not one of them. Just taking over. So obnoxious and inappropriate.

Once we were home my brother came over to give G his gift. A very cool car ramp that G loves. He had already opened a puzzle from my friend Di and her son Jeremiah and later the family I nanny for came over to drop off a gift and play a bit. They gave him a fun toy tool set.

A bit later we opened all the other gifts that had accumulated from Zack's mom: Melissa and Doug food and cookies for his kitchen, and pan set, a M&D car track thingy and stamp set. From his great grand parents: a cute outfit and from us (and Santa's Helper- random money that came in the mail at Christmas- thank you!): 7 shirts and a cardigan sweater from Gymboree's huge sale right before Christmas. It was up to 60% off already and I had a 20% off coupon plus free shipping. Makes it cheaper to buy there than Target! (and SO much cuter!) Also a few pair of pants and the cutest boots from Children's Place. I also had similar coupon codes for there. I love a good deal! I love this pic. "clothes- meh! movin right along to the good stuff!"

We also got him 2 sets of markers, a few books and a superman dvd. And I made him a game called Bucket Toss. Which is just what it sounds like. A clear paint bucket with handmade bean bags to throw into it. He loves that!

For dinner G wanted pancakes- again- but a close runner up is hotdogs, which the barely touched. sigh. I had big plans to make an Elmo ice cream cake but it didn't happen. We ended up buying a small one from Baskin Robin. Way easier. Between that and the "cake" of rice crispy treats Di brought over (our family fave!) we are sweeted out!

Then off to bed. He was a very tired boy. I took a fantastically hot bath and hoped for contractions. Nope. Sit here typing having less than I was this morning. But I guess at least the boys won't share a birthday. :)

5 days to go! {39 weeks/ 2 days} TMI WARNING!

Last night was quite an adventure. For a while I thought for sure we were going to have a baby today. I decided to try *one of the things we had already tried before* (saving the gory details- my DAD reads after all!) and not long after I was having some good contractions. Every 3-4 minutes for about 30-40 seconds to be exact.

At about 30 minutes of this I texted my friend/ neighbor Jamie, who has home birthed 2 or 3 of her 5 kiddos at home in a birth tub. I just wanted to know at what point are they considered real contractions. The obvious answer is they are real when a child is produced but since I have never gone into labor on my own I have no idea what real (no induction drugs to thank) contractions feel like or how they act.

Jamie came over to massage my (k)ankles and see if we could get them to keep going and be real labor. This is the second of these acupressure massages she has given me. And Zack also did some pressure point pressing the other night so by now my (k)ankles have a bruise or two.
By 1am they were dissipating a bit (started about 11) but not enough for me to sleep. I ended up falling asleep about 230, though between 1-230 I had fewer but very strong contractions.

I woke up to nothing.

NOTHING.

Rude.

I did lose my mucus plug or part of it today though so maybe sooner than later!

Aren't you glad this post didn't include pictures.

6 days to go! {39 weeks/ 1 day}

Today I worked hopefully my last day for a month (no offense S and L!) for my nanny job.

I feel so huge and round!

Just an update about things I have tried to naturally induce.
Raspberry lead tea: cups and cups of tea, no baby
walking: still no baby
sex: not so much
black licorice: eating good and plenty like crazy and other forms and nothing

after I am past my due date... if... I will try the Black cohash.
Never the caster oil. ew.

:)

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Here are the diaper wraps I have been frantically making.

You lay the soaker in the middle.

Fold the flaps over.
This is where baby goes.

Then you fold the flaps over.
These are to use with the covers I have been making.

Pardon the marker marks that didn't get cut off. This was my first one. And my first jump back into serging.

9 days to go! {38 weeks/ 5 days}

9 days to go!! I had my midwife apt today and baby is still measuring well. "Right on schedule". I did not have her check for dilation. Next week if no baby has appeared yet then I will.

I have been SO tired today. I was hopeful that the contractions I was having this afternoon would be doing some good and combined with being so tired, maybe it was a sign. Nope.

Just tired.

I went to bed at 12:30 last night, woke up at 8:30 or so. Went to the dr and fabric store, then a friends who just had her baby on Sat for a visit... tried to get Kaitlyn (the baby) the urge her friend along- he just kicked her. I came home and took my car to the dealer for a quick check before my warranty expires (TOMORROW!) Nothing like putting it off until the last minute!

I knew I was sleepy but didn't feel like I'd had a super busy day or anything. I was sitting/laying on the couch playing with Grayson.

That's the last thing I remember. It was about 4... I woke up about 7. Ooops!
Woke up and contractions were gone. grrr.

10 days to go! {38 weeks/ 4 days}

Well, until my estimated due date I guess. I can't believe I have less than 2 weeks and hotdog could be here! I have no illusions about how long he could stay in there though! Grayson was 9 days late... 4 days of that being induction! He just had no interest in leaving his water bed. I have confirmed with my midwife that unless there is proof of distress I will not be inducing this baby before 43 weeks.

My mother says I was late. Very late. Like a month late. My dad says I came when I was supposed to come... not sure where that story meets in the middle. LOL
But either way, with my history with Grayson I am not pushing my luck. Maybe I am just one of those people whose babies stay in past their EDD.

I guess we'll see.

Pregnancy Stats:
weight gain~ 8 lbs
new stretch marks~ 2 confirmed a few other possibles, sadly. What is it with my children leaving their mark on ONLY the left side of my bady!?
varicose veins~ 0
sciatic nerve~ not as bad as it had been but still alive and kicking
hip displacement~oddly enough feeling a much better

And this is why I call him STARFISH!

This is before my child decided to stretch out.

This is after. See the bulge? That is an almost straight legged baby stretching. Its the oddest feeling!

Can someone please remind my child that he is not in the roomy presidential suite?

Thankful Thursday! 34 weeks.

Now that is a big belly!

Today I am Thankful for
1. being 34 weeks pregnant... and hopefully only having 6 weeks or less to go. It feels like I have been pregnant for-EVER!
Probably because of how it went with Jonathan. At the end of the day we had empty arms. This almost feels like a continuation of that. I am glad we can see the end in sight.

2. for the kindness of strangers. You know who you are. Thank you.

3. The holiday season. I love it. Even working retail. Even being pregnant working retail. :)

4. My friend Corie for lending me her ornaments for my big tree this year (and the last 2) Our tree would be very naked (actually we just wouldn't have one) if it were not for her and her generosity.

5. Our tree source who sells us an 18' tree (or whatever we end up picking- this weekend post to come) for $20. It truly is a blessing.

Pregnancy Stats:
weight gain~ 6 lbs
new stretch marks~ 0
vericose veins~ 0
sciatic nerve~ Alive and well and rearing its ugly head mostly on the left now that he is head down.
hip displacement~a little calmer since I have been seeing a massage therapist.


Now if someone would tell my child that he is in a small cramped short stay motel room rather than the roomy presidential suite that would be great. :P

Thanksgiving- Thankful Thursday!

Now that is a gorgeous bird.

This afternoon we went to my friend Bonnie's parents house for Thanksgiving dinner. They live in Vancouver Wa and it was a lovely time. They are closest thing to family I have locally and its nice to spend time with them.

Today started out a little rough though. I worked at T yesterday from 3pm until 235 am. Yes, you read that right. It was a very long day/night. We were setting up for Black Friday. A day I will be avoiding except to go to work. I woke up and started cooking. To be honest something I planned on doing but that I hoped would already be done or started. I was a little grumpy. I made fresh cranberry orange sauce, sweet potato and pecan casserole, as well as a pickle and olive platter. Nothing super hard or tedious.

I guess I was just mostly feeling sorry for myself. On the worst day of all days to be doing that. Throughout the day I thought of things that I am thankful for. There are the obvious things: my son, my husband, our health, a healthy tummy baby, my home.

But to go beyond the obvious is a little harder right now. And then I read my aunt Trish's blog. It got me thinking about the smaller things. The things that have mattered to me in my life. While mine isn't filled with siblings (I wish) its all things that sometimes go untold of their importance.

I am thankful for the relationship I have with my dad. We were not always close. In fact if he had to recall my teen years he might (still) blame me for his gray hairs. But in the last few years we have both tried to establish more of a friendship and now I enjoy talking to him. I enjoy it when he visits, when we go down to his house in San Diego. I love watching him with Grayson and how he is with my babies. That is something that has always struck me. No matter how rough he seemed, how angry he could become, if there was a baby around he was pure mush (don't tell him I told you ;) and babies love him. When Grayson was tiny and he visited right after his birth he would hold him for hours. Or just want him to sleep on the couch next to him.

My friend, Diana, in a chance meeting right before she moved out of her apartment and we were just relocating into ours we became friends. That was 7 years and much history ago. She is the friend I can call in the middle of the night, the one who comes to the hospital day or night to sneak me cookies and rub my back while I attempt to deliver a baby, the one who rescues me when I need rescuing and don't even know it.

I am thankful for the area we live in. Many people gasp when they find out we moved from San Diego to Portland and CHOSE to do so. San Diego is gorgeous but not if you know it as well I we do. There are many down sides, the amount of people moving there for the sun is merely one of them. We moved to Portland in October 2002 with no jobs and no prospects. We're crazy like that. And we have never looked back. There are times I wish family was closer, like today but mostly I love where we live. The friends we have made. When I drive over any one of the bridges in Portland and look at the many others I feel at home. I know this is where we are supposed to be and that is a good feeling.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't try to remind myself how good I have it. Yes, things have happened lately and in the last two years that have sucked. Yes, some are horrible. But you know what? Everyone has a story. It isn't just me or us. There is not a thing in this life that is going to take me down without a fight. I have always been a fighter. For good or for bad, that's who I am. And for that I am thankful...

And if I had to put a song to my life right now I would pick this one.
Sounds like life to me too.

Oh, and I am 33 weeks pregnant today!

Hospital birth tour

To this point I have said I plan to labor at home to the best of my ability at which point I will transfer to the hospital I have chosen to deliver our beautiful son. And while that is still the case, after our hospital tour today I am not as scared to go in a little earlier.

I have previously given birth at St. Vincent one of the biggest hospitals in the area, which has the largest labor and delivery (L&D from here on out) units in the Pacific Northwest. It was fine (if you don't count how long I was in labor the lack of actual support from the staff and ALL the medical intervention that was forced given to me.) I would not recommend that hospital to most of my friends. The Dr's and Midwifes and most of the nurses were competent and nice, some were even great. (if you still read- you know who you are. :)

But I am actually excited about going to Kaiser Sunnyside to give birth.

When we were pregnant with Grayson we asked about a hospital tour. We were told there was a tour but it was a video and the tour stopped outside the L&D doors. WHAT?! How does one tour the L&D from a video? I for one was not satisfied with that. Zack and I showed up one day when I was pretty sure our midwife was going to be there and asked her if we could have an informal tour, which she gave us. We skipped the video.

Kaiser Sunnyside, ah Sunnyside. The tour is a TOUR! You meet in the lobby and the guide walks you all around the newly remodeled spaces. We went into the L&D and postpardum unit and everything in between. Here is what a L&D room looks like:

minus all the lamps and fake flowers. The guide said they have birth balls (we had to take our own, the other hospital said the "probably" had one but had "no idea where they were"- um okay. ) and squat bars for use with the beds. (other hospital didn't offer these to our knowledge)
Yay! She also said they will let you birth using the squat bar or whatever is MOST comfortable for YOU! I am in awe and shock. I almost cried. I knew the Sunnyside had a lower Csection rate (24% vs 34+% at the other last I checked) and that it was more of a freestanding birth center feel but I was pleasantly shocked!

The staff that greeted us was friendly and warm. And it was so quiet! That was one thing that really stood out to us. Other hospital delivers more than 6000 births a year. Sunnyside is closer to 2000 a year. It was lovely quiet. No hustle and bustle.

There is a fridge in everyroom and a jetted walk-in soaking tub for mommy use. Lovely! And smaller baths/showers in most rooms. I think best of all for Zack is there was NO air duct above the "partner" bed. :) He hated that about the other hospital. It was miserable. Mostly cold air blowing right in his face any time he tried to sleep.

The only downside I can see is that SS is on the other side of town, about 45 minutes away without traffic. :(

Anyway, I am very excited to deliver this little guy and not one bit scared. I KNOW my body and baby can do this. We will do great! Now if I could just find a doula (still have no solid leads! RUTH CALL ME!) And if I could talk him into staying in there through January so I can work a little longer. I am not ready to not have any money coming in. :( Hopefully Zack gets a job quickly!

Wish me luck!

Thankful Thursday- 32 weeks

Sorry I have been MIA again. I have had a cold this week. So on top of working 40 hours I am just pooped. I am starting to feel better now so hopefully I will be keeping up better.

Today I am Thankful for:
1. The Dansko shoes my friend gave me. I wore them on Tuesday all day at home. I woke of Wednesday pain free! I have not had a pain free day in months! If I had known exactly how comfy and helpful they were I would have invested in the beginning!

2. Having 56 days to go before I am due for hotdog to join our family! (Doula Ruth if you are reading this please call me 809-9922!)

3. My family. Especially the little monkey who loves nothing more than to be a "magic man" right now. We recently saw a magician and he was mesmerized. It makes me happy to hear him say abrah kadabrah!

4. That Christmas is right a right around the corner. I can't wait to decorate! Christmas is my favorite holiday.

5. Having jobs. This time last year neither of us was employed. Its very stressful to be unemployed!

Thankful Thursday! 29 weeks

Today I am Thankful for:
1. Being 29 weeks pregnant. Today. Hotdog will be here before I know it.

To date my stats are:
weight gain~ 6 lbs (he is growing just fine I am assured)
new stretch marks~ 0
vericose veins~ 0 still yeah!
sciatic nerve~ Alive and well and rearing its ugly head on the Right as well as Left now.
hip displacement~ active on the left. :(

2. That we get to keep the house! I feel we are very blessed in this fact. I know there are many, many people who have lost theirs in this economic mess.

3. That my husband works so hard to make our life great, even when everything is up in the air.

4. Email and Iphone. I know this is silly. But when I found out about Jonathan I lost my ability to use the phone except when necessary. Text, email and facebook are so much easier for me now. And in the beginning I was not too sure if I liked my Iphone and now... well lets just say the AA people might want to consider a IPhone Addict Annomous group.

5. Tiny little clothes. I have been going through the leftovers from when Grayson was born and small. I have the room in the furniture configuration I want it in, and all the clothes washed and folded or hung up. The cloth diapers are washed and sized to smalls and in the changing table. Basically we are ready. I still have the bulk of the nursery decor to do but its "designed" and planned just needs to be exicuted. I will take before and afters but no pics until its ready.

100 days to go!

Today is the 100 day mark! Yay! That means I am 180 days down/ or 65%! Woo hoo! It still a loooonnnnngggg way to go.

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In other news, I have some good news potential that I hope to find out more about. I can't say more yet, but I will as soon as I know. I would love all the good thoughts, prayers, vibes you all provide so generously on this. I know its generic, but you'll be the first to know! I promise!
;-)

100,000 names and not one seems right?!

Now that we know its a boy in my belly, it seems that I should have a name. At this point with Grayson I had his name. I was sitting in the park with my nanny charges when this other mother ran by screaming for her Grayson to come back. I pointed and said "there goes my name!" We obviously didn't even know he was a he yet. But as soon as I heard it I just knew.

Jonathan's name "came to me" on the ultra sound table when we learned his diagnosis and his gender all at the same time. I later learned it means Gift of God.

This little boy I am currently carrying has no name... nothing. No run by names, no on the table whispers. Nothing.

So if you have a name you think we should consider please let me in on it! It has to go with "Grayson" and "Jonathan" and be equally cool as "Grayson". :)

Thanks friends!

***UPDATE*** as of Sept 7 I think we have a name. Not positive on the middle yet... the catch is we are not gonna share. (boo I know right!) but here's a hint, someone mentioned it in the comments. :) The reason we are not gonna share is LITERALLY everyone I know is pregnant and someone I knew who was pg with their baby at the same time as me with Grayson stole the name AND had her baby first. Not taking any chances... LOL

And since you all know me so well, the count down begins now on how long I will really keep this secret. :)

Guess what?!

What does one get when Gymboree has thier circle of friends sale and someone buys this really cute outfit for a possible baby girl she could be carrying?



She gets a boy!


I went to my midwife apt today and she asked one of the nurses to do a quick Ultra sound and see if we could tell the gender. Immediately we all saw boy parts with his little open legs so that's that. Guess there will be a next time... :)

Baby oh baby 2 of 2

Well I survived. But barely.

Maybe we are more sensitive this time around but when the tech spends AN HOUR checking the baby and continually returns to the heart to take more measurements and when asked if everything is okay she brushes you off, we tend to freak out a bit.

We still don't know if anything is wrong with babe's heart, but I left a note with my midwife to call me as soon as she learns anything.

The other thing that kept us there an hour is this sweet little still genderless baby. It refused to uncross its legs which were so tucked under its buns we couldn't see a thing! For a while we thought maybe girl, then it uncrossed and it might have looked like a boy but then the legs went right back! With both Grayson and Jonathan it was an immediate ITS A BOY, at 17 weeks. Maybe that means its a girl. *sigh* So until further notice this baby is still unknown. :(

And darn if the big sale at Gymboree doesn't start tomorrow. I already put a cute little clearance sweater on hold too. Now to buy or not to buy?

Here is the bean, you can clearly see the spine and round (yay!) head .
And on the right, the bent/crossed legs.

And a foot, or two, I am not sure. It might be both when they were crossed together.

6 weeks pregnant!

And all I wanna do it barf. blah.
With Grayson's pregnancy I started feeling sick about 6 weeks. With Jonathan it was about 5 1/2 weeks. This pregnancy it was 5 weeks. Seems to be getting earlier and earlier. If that's the case it better finish earlier too! Though that hasn't worked out so far.

I have yet to actually throw up and I was by now with Jonathan's pregnancy. I am very thankful I am not throwing up. I hope it stays away. But the nausea! Oh boy! It's like having the flu or food poisoning! It just comes in massive waves that make moving at all intolerable! Tuesday was a very rough day. I worked 4am- 7am and was nauseous the whole time. I have started keeping lemon heads in my pocket at work, it seems to be the only thing that helps other than moving so fast I can't think about being sick.

So I worked Tuesday morning, came home and went to bed from 730-11am (boy was that lovely!) and then was nauseous the rest of the day! (boy was that not lovely!)

I stayed pretty much on the couch refusing to move for most of the afternoon. Finally in the early evening I remembered the somewhere I had a leftover Rx for an anti-nausea pill (Zophran) that I took with Jonathan. I sent Zack on the mission. Yay! He found it, exactly where it belonged! (How often does that happen?!) I took that and with a while later I was able to move without getting hit by the waves as much. Within an hour I was able to stand up and move. A little while after that to eat.

Wednesday I started the day by taking my little happy no-vomit pill. It worked for a while but by evening I was feeling pretty useless again. So much for the fantastic misnomer of "Morning Sickness." I seem to have overall sickness. Great.

Supposedly the sicker you are the better because it means things are progressing "normally". Well, having been through the ordeal we have with Jonathan, I don't believe that anymore. I knew from almost the second I knew I was pregnant and was SO sick that something was wrong. Everyone said that things were fine, the pregnancy was just different. Maybe they were right, but no longer does different give me piece of mind.

I can't wait until the day I can see my little bean and know he/she is fine.
Chinese calendar says he is a he by the way. We'll see I guess. Supposedly Jonathan was to be a girl according to Chinese Calendar.

Time will tell.
For now, here is what is happening with the Bean.

"Your baby's length is now about 3 to 5 millimeters -- about the size of a peppercorn! The brain is forming three separate parts: the forebrain (memory and reasoning), the midbrain (translates messages from the brain to organs and limbs) and the hindbrain (regulates breathing and muscle movement). At this point the embryo is now three-dimensional and completely enclosed in the amniotic sac.

Your baby's heart is now beating and blood circulation is evident. The kidneys and liver are growing fast, and the neural tube, which connects the brain with the spinal cord, closes.

The placenta is rapidly developing, however, it will not take over hormone production until about week 12"