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Monday, October 28, 2013

Holy Amazing, Batman!

When I had Jonathan I came to know that your friends either pull together and make shit happen or they run fast and far. Mostly I had people surround me and embrace me through what I was going through. I tried not to hold it against those that ran, hell I wanted to run away too! 

This time I hope it's different, Grayson's diagnosis is bringing people out of the woodwork I didn't know I had in my corner! Today a friend of a friend wrote this letter to him. 
It wasn't until I was talking to my friend Angie over at Jonesing 2 Create and she asked who wrote it, I said it was a comic book writer... Devin something... ha. Apparently, Devin Grayson is THE comic book writer. :P (sorry Devin, you are awesome, I am just clueless!) My amazing friend Leanne who has been my right side mama since I found out, is friends with Devin's friend. 

I am incredibly humbled and thankful to have so many amazing people in our lives, near or far to help us along this journey. Grayson just loves that he got a personalized letter from THE Batman. His little eyes lit up and then he asked if I was sure since I had said Batman wasn't real, oops. I said I was wrong, that it is real and so is Batman. 

It made his day. Thank you. From the bottom of this mama's heart. <3 p="">

pssst!!!!

Most of this blogs followers are friends, most of those friends are on Facebook with me.... but some who aren't might be around here poking around still. SO... guess what?!    


I am pregnant! 


Bet you can't guess what we are having?




I will give you a hint, the balloons were not on Jonathan's birthday. :) 

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Who Knew...

There was a poem I my mom had written on a piece of notebook paper and clipped to a mirror when I was a kid, I barely remember it but the line I remember is

"It is easy enough to be pleasant, when life flows along like a song, but anyone worth while is one who will smile, when everything goes dead wrong."

Turns out that is the whole poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox, thank you google. It stuck with me most of my life and I really, really try to just turn things right side up. Struggling with depression for most of my life, this isn't always an easy task. Which brings me to now. Turns out I can't write a damn thing when my life is seemingly moving along like a song. Honestly, it wasn't but some things aren't meant to be shared so I don't. But today, this week, I found my words. I don't know if they will stay long or if life will ever flow like a song again but for now, I am here.

For the last few weeks, Grayson (6- when did that happen?!) has been getting up to pee a lot, like 4-6x a night between bed at 730 and my bed at 11/12. This followed a virus so I wasn't too concerned, until it continued. Then he started getting headaches, almost daily. At first I wondered if he was dehydrated as I am super sensitive to water intake and headaches. Then he came home last Friday for a headache, he had a pretty quick recovery at home so I started wondering if he was manipulating the situation to get something or out of something. I also found out he had been in the nurses office quite a few times. Mostly for headaches but would head back to class and seem ok.

Monday morning I was working in his classroom and asked his teacher about the headaches and such. She mentioned that she was concerned and he had been leaving quite often to use the restroom. hmmm. We finished our chat and I headed out to the office to do some paper cutting. About 30 minutes later, the teacher walked in and said that instead of going to recess, Grayson had gone to the nurses office with a headache. I went in and he was using the restroom but the nurse asked if he had eaten breakfast. He had. He said he was hungry though so we went to the cafeteria to ask if she had some apples or veggies we could have. He ate some apples and went back to class, seemingly better.

I finished my work and dropped it back in the classroom. I went back to the nurse and we spoke more. I concluded that something was very wrong and was pretty sure it was type 1 diabetes. I left worried and went immediately home to message a friend who's son is just two weeks older and was diagnosed a year ago. She said she thought it could go either way, as I had kept thinking all those things could be a growth spurt or something easy and simple. She said come over for a blood check and get some peace of mind. I agreed.

I picked up Gray that afternoon with a heavy heart, went home and ate the snack I had been instructed to give him so as not to spike or change his blood sugars too much. Then we went over to our friends house. Gray was very apprehensive about the finger poke but ultimately agreed and we were all a little shocked to see his blood sugar at 360! I didn't leave with peace of mind. I left armed with my cell phone to call the advice line for an apt and urgent care hours. Two hours later we were at UC and having another blood check. 520 this time!!! (after a normal dinner of spaghetti and bread and veggies) The urgent care Pediatrician said he was 99.9% sure it was T1D and to go immediately (after packing a bag etc) to the local children's hospital.

We raced home, sent emails to the teachers/principle involved and any friends/family who needed to know what was going on and we were on our way. We got settled in and spent the next 2 days getting a crash course on keeping Grayson as stable as possible.

I can't believe that after 2 days I took him home. Like a newborn only harder.

Who knew? This disease is a huge commitment to keeping these (little) people safe. I had no idea. I grew up with a friend whose step dad had diabetes and I knew that the complications of that and his transplant are what led to his death. He was an amazing man but I remember him being pretty quiet about his disease. He never hid it per se, he just didn't do it completely out in the open. I also babysat for a family all through high school that both parents were/are T1D. I saw the father do his shots and at first it kinda freaked me out, I have always had an aversion to needles. But I got used to it, as I am sure he had many many years earlier.

I found out that while I have no relatives that I know of with the disease and neither does Zack, we both carry a gene that makes all of our children a potential candidate. The general theory is that a virus, which one is yet unknown for sure, is the trigger and T1D follows shortly after. Who knew?

If you would like to learn more about Type 1 Diabetes please feel free to click here.

                                                      Grayson last weekend at the Punky patch
                                                       










Tuesday, February 5, 2013

A little Update.

I said I would do a bit of an update so I guess I will start here. This last year has been great. If you are a long time reader you know of the struggles our family has been through in the last few years. We have lost a business, lost a child, filed and completed a bankruptcy and lived to tell about it. Zack got a great job, with a company out of Minnesota and working from home. He also does some business consulting on the side. He is enjoying it and ends are meeting and that is a good feeling.

The boys are growing up well. Grayson is in Kindergarten and loving his sweet teachers and his full day dual language program (Spanish/ English). He is sucking learning up like a little sponge and it's amazing to watch. He loves the colors black and blue and has preferred black shirts and skinny jeans since he was old enough to voice it. My emo kid before he even knows what emo is. LOL. He enjoys drawing, play with his legos, learning to read and write and to spend time outside with his friends. He is also a very sweet big brother.

Jaxon is newly 3 and loves to do everything himself. We just registered for preschool in the fall and he is very excited about that. He loves to do everything Grayson is doing and then some. He loves to color, play with blocks and ride bikes and play in the sand. He is pretty emotional at this stage and is often angry about being told no. (Today he told me he wanted a new mommy cause I am mean for turning off the tv. Awesome)

Torin, our sweet youngest is 17 months old and climbs like he is 3. That child is giving me grey hair! If we leave one chair at the dining room table pulled out his radar kicks in and he is in the middle of the dining room table before you can exhale and turn around. He can climb the stairs faster than lightening if the gate is left open. He is equal parts love baby and demon and we love his giggles and snuggles. He enjoys his brothers and every toy they might think they want to play with. ;) He also loves his baby doll and to read books. He hands me books to read all.day.long.

I have been busy with various sewing projects, both for our family and home and with LoveyDoodle. I am currently working on custom ruffles for the Gift of Love gDiaper which is the diaper Ecomom did with gDiapers to benefit Hand to Heart International. It is the sweetest diaper with X's and O's all over it. And I must say ruffles make it about the cutest thing on the planet. I also attempt to keep up with my house (why bother, cleaning while you have small children is like shoveling snow while it's snowing... and I hired a cleaner this year to come twice a month.) and my children.

Overall, things have been pretty good. Which is why it is interesting to me that I struggle so much. I have been through some very hard things in my life and NOT been depressed or medicated through most of them. For me, it's the daily life that is often the hardest. The screaming, fighting children that make my ears bleed. The silly fights with my husband over nothing. The piles of laundry and dishes that seem endless. The angry HOA letters over a stupid weed. Those things pile and pile and pile on my shoulders making it feel like an impossible weight. One would think that after losing a child, the rest would be easy. 
One would be wrong. 


Monday, February 4, 2013

It's NOT all Good.

Wow! Has it really been over a year since I popped in? Anyone still attempting to read? (Doubtful but if so I thank you) I guess you could say I am an UNfair weather blogger. I pretty much have nothing to say unless I am struggling, and while I should have been at this the last year I was just too over whelmed with everything to even attempt. I'll do some catch up in a bit but for now...

Monday morning I woke up to an email from a friend telling me of the death of an amazing man. I didn't really know this man per se, but I had spoken with him once for about 30 minutes and he left an impact. He was Jody Sherman, co-founder and CEO of the web based store Ecomom. I have shopped at Ecomom for a year since I first heard about them from another friend. The email shared about his death and a cryptic message Jody's wife had posted on his Facebook page. She posted that he would have said goodbye if he could have but he knew he couldn't and he loved everyone he knew so much and they mattered to him. Cause of death wasn't specified at that point.

It was later announced that at 47, Jody's cause of death was "self inflicted gun shot wound"

I'll let that resonate.

I didn't know this man. I didn't know his life or his friends or his family. But I know his pain. I know what it's like to think for a second that it might be a viable option to cease to exist. I read those words and I was devastated. I cried. Real tears. For this man I never knew and for the family and wife he left behind. For the friends of his left the ask why? And how could THEY have prevented such a tragedy. No one saw it coming. I sent up a google alert minutes after reading the first reports and have read every single publication since (kind of obsessed now) and no one who knew him has said anything other than that they didn't see it coming. Some spoke to him that day and he seemed upbeat and energetic.



And that is how most people would describe me I think. I think most of us who have depression (I don't know that he did but most people who kill themselves struggle longer than just that moment) can fake it pretty well. We know all the right words and smile the biggest because to be seen in our real state is too vulnerable and too raw and honestly most people don't care to see it.

There is still a stigma along with depression. It's all good. It's gotta be.... Sad irony in that line. "It's all Good" is Ecomom's tag line. Maybe it was more obvious than anyone realized. If we say its all good enough, it will be so. Right?! Jody had a tattoo on his wrist. "I am awesome" and he was. No one would deny that... And yet I don't think HE knew it. I think that is more of a reminder to try and view himself in a light he knew others saw him in.

Everyday 84+ people commit suicide (last available daily records on suicide.org) and (50+% of that is by firearms... Don't get me started...) every single day

84+ people

That is a frightening number. That's 84+ people who felt they had no other options.

84+ people nationwide who left a wake of devastation in their final choice. Suicide is the ultimate selfish act. There I said it. The fear, and agony is over for that person. But it's only begun for those in the wake. The sea of emotions and anger and questions that will never be answered because the one person who can is gone. Forever. That's just starting for the people in the wake.

These people don't mean to be selfish. They just want their pain to stop. And it does. But for people like Jody who do SO much good in their lives before their death, its just that much more a tragedy. Jody and Ecomom fed a child in need with each purchase. Amazing.

This week, 3 days after Jody's death, Ecomom announced the layoff of 19 of their headquarters employees. They are in dire straights it seems. (Go order from Ecomom, they have amazing products and free shipping over $50. I did and plan to order again today, I'm sure I need something)

I am so sad at the thought that this amazing little company could close its doors. I hope they can climb out of this devastation.

If you or someone you care about you suspect is thinking of ending their life please get help.

1-800- SUICIDE/ 1-800- 784-2433

Suicide.org - Suicide Prevention, Awareness, and Support






Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Heidi's pumpkin party!

Every year my friend Heidi comes back to our neck of the woods from hers and her in laws host a huge pumpkin carving party on their farm. It is very fun and something we look forward to all year! This was Heidi's first meeting of Torin. 













I love Fall. 

a little behind.

I hopped in yesterday to find something I had posted and realized I only had to go back a few pages before I hit last year. I keep saying I am going to try and be better but the reality is that I am just under water most of the time. With three boys under 5 I am busy and exhausted. So I will try to catch up a bit and see what happens. I will hope to be better about posting this coming year...

Grayson is enjoying preschool for the second year. We are still at the coop and this year I am the class rep/coordinator. It is a lot more work than I expected it would be but overall it isn't horrible. (read: I won't be doing it again as long as I have babies) He has really come into his own this year and loves to build elaborate marble runs out of various materials Teacher P pulls out for him. He has become known as quite the little architect to his friends and they all wait for him to come and help them construct these fun tracks. He also still really enjoys art and imaginative play. He is a lovely helper and awesome big brother too!

Jaxon has learned the word no. And says it quite often. I think I hear it in my sleep he says it so much. He loves helping me clean the house and play with his toys and coloring. He loves learning new things and watching Grayson do things and trying them too. Usually he is successful. He is very social and loves to play with friends and say hi to people. He is also a great big brother, always asking to hold Torin or nurse him. Yes you read that right, he seems to think he too has breast milk and Torin needs it. He has asked to nurse him more than a few times. No matter how I tell him he doesn't have milk, he wants to try anyway. lol

Torin just discovered his smile and uses it often. He is a VERY happy baby and a great sleeper already like Jaxon was/is. He smiles non-stop and is learning to laugh. He enjoys nursing, "playing" with his brothers and sleeping with mommy. Oh and nursing. :)

Zack's job is going well and is almost to the two year mark. It is hard to believe the 18 months of joblessness is so long ago. It is almost just a memory. We are still recovering but we are almost there. Life is mostly ok.

I am learning to juggle 3 little boys the house and everything else. I will admit that usually one of them is "hitting the floor" but I am quick to "pick it up" and keep on trucking. I think this is all a really great lesson for me in what is a priority and what isn't. I have always been a bit of a control freak and I just can't control it all now, or most of it in fact. I am a quick learner luckily.

SO on the fun stuff... up next Heidi's pumpkin party!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

From Jaimey to Mommy in 4.2 seconds

I just looked down a realized my leg hair is probably longer than my husbands. Hot. If you are in to that, that's cool but I am not. Er, never was.

Somewhere along the way, I went from Jaimey to Mommy. It happens to the best of us, in the blink of an eye and before you know it, only shreds of your former self remain. I SWORE it would never happen to me. I would never get lost in my marriage, never be the slave to my kids and my role as mommy and wife. It's one of the reasons I hyphenated my last name. Marriage was an addition to my life, not a hostile take over.

And yet, here I sit with mile-long-leg hair. My hair in a perpetual Mommy-tail and frumpy cozy clothes after the kids go to bed, folding mountains and mountains of laundry. The sea of tiny clothing, begging to be put on tiny squishy bodies. Bodies that came from mine that I would give my life for, that as a mommy you put on this earth and it's as if your entire soul is walking away from your body with a mind of it's own and free will. You will feel every hurt they feel, every achievement and in that time you teach them and hope that you taught them everything they need to know.

So while I swore I would never be that woman, the woman who loses herself in her family I realize that I have and I am. And man am I happy I did. I could not be happier about my choice to be a mom. I love my life and my kids, through every tear and laugh. With mile long leg hair and my perma Mommy-tail and mountains of laundry. I am good with it.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Baby bean

Torin James 3.5 days old. 
8lb 11 oz
Photos by Elle Zober of Zoberimages.com





                                                             

Friday, September 16, 2011

Torin James is here!!

I am slightly delayed but here is his story!

I woke up on Aug 30, his due date feeling like things were different. I started noticing contractions about 30 minutes apart from 6 am- about 1pm when I laid down to take a nap. I woke up an hour later with them closer to 15 minutes apart. I told Zack things were getting quicker. I busied myself getting the last minute things into bags for the boys and myself and toward the door.

About 3 I said it was time to get the kids to our friends house and head to the hospital. I had planned on going to the same hospital I had Jaxon at but when I called and told them I was headed there and had been 4cm for a few weeks the nurse freaked out a little, given my vba2c status. I was urged to go the the hospital that is closer. I hung up and told Zack what they said. I drove the kids to my friends house so I could give her my car as well with Zack following closely behind.

Once I got there my phone started ringing again. I answered knowing it was the nurse, she said that two the major highways around the hospital had been closed due to fire and the traffic on the one I would be taking would be horrible. She was very concerned that I wouldn't make it the 35 miles in that kind of traffic. It was decided I would head to the other hospital.

Zack and I left my friend Diana's house and headed to the hospital. The kids were in great hands and it was so nice to not have to worry about them while I was busy. My contractions picked up in the car on the way to the hospital. Once we got there and and got me up to the check in area the nurses seemed to think I wasn't in labor or something, this seems to be common practice I think. Assume you are crazy and can't figure out a 9 lb watermelon is trying to exit your body... One nurse says, "Let's get her to triage and see if she is in labor." I confirmed "This is labor, 4th baby, I am pretty sure I know labor. And I have been 4 cm for weeks. This baby is coming!" I was a little ticked off.

DO NOT PISS OF A LABORING MAMA! seriously. who does that?!

So I got checked in and was indeed 6cm and in labor (duh). A few minutes later, I was escorted to my room. Upon entering I was greeted my a midwife, one I had been told was great so that was a relief, who told me if I wanted an epidural I should say so now. My doula (same amazing woman as last time) wasn't even there yet, and I said as much and passed.

Shannon (my Doula) got there about 6pm and thank goodness because so did the back labor! She was amazing as she had been before. She rubbed and massaged and pressed as hard as she could on my lower back. She was great at keeping me grounded. When I forgot to breath, she would breath really loud and remind me. When I needed more pressure she pushed. I can not recommend her highly enough. I wish everyone I knew would use her. They would not regret it.

Zack was in charge of photography during this time.

Hours of laboring like this, eating ice chips (which was no issue for me! I was pretty anemic this time around and ice was my favorite treat!) and being monitored and timed. I learned that I had roughly 2 hours to get to 8 cm because of my vba2c status (vaginal birth after 2 cesareans) and they were concerned about uterine rupture and hemorrhage because I lost so much blood with Jaxon.

Around 930 or so I was getting tired, I had held it together pretty well except when I went to the bathroom and for whatever reason that position had made my body contract in such a way it scared me! The most guttural hollers were coming out of me that I couldn't control. The midwife walked back in after stepping out and upon hearing this started yelling to get me out of there, I could hear the concern in her voice. I could see something going very wrong and so could she. Once I got back to my spot on the bed things calmed down quickly, my doula resumed her position and I regained my composure. Not long later I asked for something to take the edge off. The midwife basically said Fat Chance Charlie. Something about being too far along at 9cm. She broke my water and I got to 10cm quickly.

You are ready to push! She proclaimed.

GREAT?! REALLY?! NO I AM NOT!!! Holy hell, I wanted a c section in that very moment. I wanted to rewind and pretend I had never asked for any of this! You know that feeling you get of dread when you see the mess you are in and worse yet when you CHOSE to put yourself there?!

She kept yelling at me that I could do this and that I WAS doing this. That I needed to push. Honestly, I tried so hard to not push, but since there is only one exit that late in the game I had no choice. So I pushed. Luckily for me only a few times and he was out.

The nurse said I pushed for 9 minutes but "the first set didn't could cause I was pulling him back in" Lovely. :) So 6-9 minutes depending on who you ask...

Of PURE. TORTURE.

Holy hell child birth hurts. Natural child birth sucks a lot! And if you asked me in the first few days you would have heard no way in HELL was I doing that again! But I have come to my senses and would do it again. The healing has been much nicer than a c section.

So I got my vba2c! I am very very happy about that part.

Without further ado, welcome
Torin "Bacon" James
8 lb 13 oz
22"
14.5" head
(cause that is really all that matters!)
@ 10:39 pm




compare to Jaxon's Birth.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Hiccups

I am watching my belly bounce and jiggle around. Baby boy has hiccups.

Again.

He gets them a lot. So did my other children. All except for Jonathan. He never had then that I remember.

It makes me very thankful to watch my belly jump and poke out as this little boy tries to get comfortable. I am thankful this little boy is healthy and headed into our arms. I can't wait.

Literally.

Get out. :)

You have less than 6 weeks little boy until your eviction notice gets handed to you... but 4 weeks would be lovely. Just sayin'.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

I'm alive

I can always tell when I have been away too long. Thank you for Melissa for calling me out of hiding. :) I am fine. All is well. I am currently 33 weeks pregnant and the bean is fine. He is another boy, not sure if I updated that before I wandered off... Apparently we only make boys.

Anyway, Zack's job is going well. He has been working a lot of hours and we miss him. I keep joking that we are going to name the baby Jim after his boss, since he is always with the guy. He doesn't think I am funny somehow. Honestly, I am just thankful he has a job and that we have less stress on that end.

I am still staying at home with the boys, struggling to keep it somewhat clean as they work their messy magic in circles around me. I heard it said once that cleaning while you have young children is like shoveling snow while it is snowing. I firmly believe this. Unfortunately, you can't stop either, then it just get completely out of hand. So I just keep on trucking and then at the end of the day curl up in the fetal position and rock, hoping when I open my eyes the mess will be gone. Hasn't worked for the record.

Beyond that, life is calm. We are enjoying our mild summer. I just smile when people complain that Oregon isn't sunny right now. We have had rain all week. I just say my little prayer to the Universe that it isn't hot and boiling and say KEEP it COMING! Sorry friends, it's me, I admit it. I keep the sun at bay! :)

I will try to check in soon. If I can get out of my fetal position more often.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

g mail!

Even since I was a little girl I have always loved getting mail!
As a grown up with responsibility and bills that has only intensified, because it's so far between "fun mail". My favorite mail one of my favorite letters on the front of it...


A few days ago this came in the mail and I couldn't even get home before I ripped it open!
I was SO excited.


Who is that gorgeous kid on the front of the new wetbag package?



Grayson!!!


Jaxon is on the package for the liners. I am one proud Mama!! :)

Monday, March 28, 2011

a little late

BUT! All is well. Thank you if you are still reading my cobwebbed sporadic postings. I wanted to come back briefly and let you know that the baby is fine! All of our numbers came back good on the AFP test. 1/26000 for neural tube defects (Anencephaly), 1/25000 for trisomies and downs. (or something like that.) All within normal range. To put it in perspective, Jonathan's numbers were 1/5. that is the highest they give for any given abnormality because it could be a false positive.

We had a higher level ultra sound the day after our tests came back to confirm the diagnosis which was great to see our sweet little baby and HIS very round little head.

And yes, you read that right. It is another boy. Apparently, there are NOT girl sperm to be had and there will probably not be any girls in our family other than me! Though I did reserve the right to have one more child, I am resigned to it being a sweet little boy too.

So that is the news. All good. Thanks for reading.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Overwhelmed

I feel lost.

There it is.

Maybe it is coming from all the emotions from taking the test today that will tell me if or Not that this baby is okay and does not have a neural tube defect like our sweet angel baby Jonathan. I hate that test and I love that test. It is the test I took that initially told us that Jonathan would not live, that the sweet baby I felt kicking inside me would die with in minutes of birth. I was his only source of life. I love that test and it's ability to tell me in advance, sparing me such anguish when I don't bring home a healthy child as I would have expected otherwise. I loath it because it tells me such horrible things.

That day will never leave my mind. I think a part of me was naive until that day. I took that test without a care for the results. It never even crossed my mind that it could come back as something other than fine. That doesn't happen to people like you and me.

I hope in the next few days to know again, as I did with Jaxon that all is well and baby is fine.
I will report back and maybe feel a little less lost.

This too shall pass right?

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Ooops

It seems with my day to day life getting in the way of this here blog I am forgetting to update the few followers I have left on the goings on that might matter a bit. :)

We found out December 24, that we are expecting again. I am hoping for a girl, obviously, and since I am 10 weeks tomorrow and still not the slightest bit sick I have a suspicion it might be! (Well, if there are any girl sperm to be had from that man anyway, he doesn't seem to be so good at that so far!) SO ya, there you have it. I am pregnant! Due date is officially Aug 31 but knowing my children s/he will be a September child, which would make her either a Virgo or a Leo depending on if you go by the "new" or old zodiac signs.

STUPID I tell you, that is what that is. Whatever, I don't pretend to be smarter than those scientists but really? Come on, it's like all of a sudden saying Pluto isn't a planet, does anyone not say Pluto when they say the planets? Whatever.

Anyway, this time around I am not nearly as stressed out. I hardly have time to be, those boys of mine are keeping me quite busy. Jax just turned one on the 16th and Gray turned 4 on the 13th. We were in California. Jax is having his party this weekend, a slight delay from last week when we were all dying of the flu. Joy. Gray will have a 1/2 birthday party again at his request.

So thanks to the "5" of you who still read. That is what is new, I would love to update more and plan on it just don't know when... cross your fingers.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Playroom redo!

I have been wanting to redo the playroom for sometime, it was just NOT conducive to play the way it was. Unfortunately, I forgot to take before pictures. As usual. :( There was a huge armoir in one corner with things tucked in laundry baskets for organization. Then a big self unit on the wall the toy box is on. It was hard to play, little space and just plain ugly. The boys got quite a bit of money for Christmas and birthday's so it went to this. I love it! Let me know what you think in the comments!
I have the idea that where the cushions will be can also be a stage. It can serve many options the way it is or we can always add more storage later and "build" up.




Thank you to Papa and Grandpa Merchant for helping us make this happen!
Posted by Picasa

Thursday, January 6, 2011

brain block

I don't know what to write. I feel like I should write. But I don't know what to put down. It's like high school/college where that paper is due tomorrow and yet a blank piece of paper sits in front of you. Now everyone uses computers but in school I was still using paper. That was a long time ago.

This post really sucks and honestly, if you are still reading, I'm sorry. :)

Tomorrow we leave for San Diego for a bit. It should be fun, we are really looking forward to it. We have not taken a vacation in what seems like forever. I am procrastinating. I should be finishing the Christmas gifts for the family down there. I should be finishing packing. I should be cleaning the house so I come home to a decent looking mess rather than a trash heap we usually come home to but here I am procrastinating. And sadly, not even doing it well.

So off I go and I hope to have some stuff to post soon and maybe an end to the brain block and time crunch I seem to be experiencing lately. Thanks for hanging with me my faithful 25 followers.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas from our family to yours !!


Merry Ho-ho. Have an amazing Christmas!
Love ya! ~J

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Merry Christmas!!

You know it's been far too long since you posted when your URL bar has no idea what you want when you start typing and your user name and password are no longer saved. Sorry. If a little blog could collect cobwebs this one would be for sure! So let me blow off the dust and take a second to gather my thoughts....
pardon my morning hair


ah yes, that's better. How is this holiday season treating you?! We are well. I am SO happy to be able to say that. We honestly have not had any major sicknesses and we are actually doing fairly well financially too this year. I am not working at T, and that is something to be Thankful for!

I discovered the joy of Amazon Prime this year. Prime entitles it's subscribers to free two day shipping on anything Prime eligible, which is most everything Amazon sells directly. I have done ALL of the shopping on their. The best part is I got prime for free! I signed up for the amazon mom club which gets you discounts and such and Prime for free for 3 months. Every $25 you spend in the baby store you get an additional month, up to a year free. I am up to March. I know this is not the most helpful post since it comes the week before Christmas and I am sorry for that. Also, you don't have to be a mom, anyone who is in the presence of children and would buy from the baby store (clothes toys, diapers etc) can sign up.

Anyway, we are mostly the same as the last time I posted something of value. Zack is working a ton. He has been traveling 2-4 days a week for the last 5-6 weeks. It makes for a long week for everyone involved and Jaxon has started to think Dada lives in the phone since when it rings he calls it Dada and gets very excited! But I think that is done for a while. There was some job restructuring at work and the person who was traveling wasn't anymore. It won't be in Zack's permanent job description we don't think... we hope.

When he is home on the weekends we have been trying to pack in as much as possible. I will try to get to that stuff soon. This month of travel has just slammed me. Noone to help with anything makes for a very tired mama at the end of the day.

I have been working in the classroom for G a lot. He loves it. We really love the school. I can't say enough about Teacher P and her way of doing things and I expand my parenting tool belt every time I am in her presence. I am so glad I made that choice. Jaxon on the other hand is not so happy to be away from me. He has just turned 11 months (HOLY cow how did that happen!?!) and is pretty much in the thick of separation anxiety. He screams most of the time I am gone at preschool. :( Not sure if he isn't digging the situation or that he isn't home or if it's simply that I am not there but I am going to play with it and switch caregivers/ locations (Grandma/Nonny and our house) and see if anything changes.

Grayson is loving school and asks every single day if it is a school day. The next 2 weeks are going to be interesting. Hopefully we will get together with some of our school friends over break.
He is learning so much. Teacher P just charms them all. One of our favorite new catch phrases that we learned at school is "friends help/love/? friends" it helps him to think less of himself and more of the other person but with out so many words. It works well for brothers too. I use it a lot. Teacher P is full of them! And everything is sung. Did you know that you could be saying the WORST thing and if it is sung it takes the edge off and makes it so much less threatening? Child doesn't want to clean up and move on... sing it! I have always used that because I learned it as a nanny but it's a lovely refresher.

Jaxon is getting big and learning something new every day. This week was how to take off his diaper. more than once I would see a naked bum streak by and then this on the floor not so far away.

Oy. I guess I need to get on that diaper stash I have to make, his diapers are on their last legs. I have already thrown out 12 that have been in rotation for almost 4 years, and most of them were hand-me-downs. I just dread making that many diapers again. It's daunting. But I have wayyy-too-many-yards of fabric stating the obvious... I gotta get on it.

Next month we fly to San Diego for a week. We will be there for the boys birthdays. We are all very excited to see everyone. Grayson can't wait to fly on a place. We are flying in super late on Friday night, but it was over $200 cheaper than Sat morning. I am hoping they sleep instead of scream the whole flight!

Anyway, I hope this post finds you well this holiday season and thanks for still reading, as sporadic as it may be. :)