"It is easy enough to be pleasant, when life flows along like a song, but anyone worth while is one who will smile, when everything goes dead wrong."
Turns out that is the whole poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox, thank you google. It stuck with me most of my life and I really, really try to just turn things right side up. Struggling with depression for most of my life, this isn't always an easy task. Which brings me to now. Turns out I can't write a damn thing when my life is seemingly moving along like a song. Honestly, it wasn't but some things aren't meant to be shared so I don't. But today, this week, I found my words. I don't know if they will stay long or if life will ever flow like a song again but for now, I am here.
For the last few weeks, Grayson (6- when did that happen?!) has been getting up to pee a lot, like 4-6x a night between bed at 730 and my bed at 11/12. This followed a virus so I wasn't too concerned, until it continued. Then he started getting headaches, almost daily. At first I wondered if he was dehydrated as I am super sensitive to water intake and headaches. Then he came home last Friday for a headache, he had a pretty quick recovery at home so I started wondering if he was manipulating the situation to get something or out of something. I also found out he had been in the nurses office quite a few times. Mostly for headaches but would head back to class and seem ok.
Monday morning I was working in his classroom and asked his teacher about the headaches and such. She mentioned that she was concerned and he had been leaving quite often to use the restroom. hmmm. We finished our chat and I headed out to the office to do some paper cutting. About 30 minutes later, the teacher walked in and said that instead of going to recess, Grayson had gone to the nurses office with a headache. I went in and he was using the restroom but the nurse asked if he had eaten breakfast. He had. He said he was hungry though so we went to the cafeteria to ask if she had some apples or veggies we could have. He ate some apples and went back to class, seemingly better.
I finished my work and dropped it back in the classroom. I went back to the nurse and we spoke more. I concluded that something was very wrong and was pretty sure it was type 1 diabetes. I left worried and went immediately home to message a friend who's son is just two weeks older and was diagnosed a year ago. She said she thought it could go either way, as I had kept thinking all those things could be a growth spurt or something easy and simple. She said come over for a blood check and get some peace of mind. I agreed.
I picked up Gray that afternoon with a heavy heart, went home and ate the snack I had been instructed to give him so as not to spike or change his blood sugars too much. Then we went over to our friends house. Gray was very apprehensive about the finger poke but ultimately agreed and we were all a little shocked to see his blood sugar at 360! I didn't leave with peace of mind. I left armed with my cell phone to call the advice line for an apt and urgent care hours. Two hours later we were at UC and having another blood check. 520 this time!!! (after a normal dinner of spaghetti and bread and veggies) The urgent care Pediatrician said he was 99.9% sure it was T1D and to go immediately (after packing a bag etc) to the local children's hospital.
We raced home, sent emails to the teachers/principle involved and any friends/family who needed to know what was going on and we were on our way. We got settled in and spent the next 2 days getting a crash course on keeping Grayson as stable as possible.
I can't believe that after 2 days I took him home. Like a newborn only harder.
Who knew? This disease is a huge commitment to keeping these (little) people safe. I had no idea. I grew up with a friend whose step dad had diabetes and I knew that the complications of that and his transplant are what led to his death. He was an amazing man but I remember him being pretty quiet about his disease. He never hid it per se, he just didn't do it completely out in the open. I also babysat for a family all through high school that both parents were/are T1D. I saw the father do his shots and at first it kinda freaked me out, I have always had an aversion to needles. But I got used to it, as I am sure he had many many years earlier.
I found out that while I have no relatives that I know of with the disease and neither does Zack, we both carry a gene that makes all of our children a potential candidate. The general theory is that a virus, which one is yet unknown for sure, is the trigger and T1D follows shortly after. Who knew?
If you would like to learn more about Type 1 Diabetes please feel free to click here.
Grayson last weekend at the Punky patch