Jaxon's birth started like I had always hoped and as I had never actually known it would. I had woken up that day thinking something felt "off", I wasn't sure what, but something was different. I told Zack not to expect anything exciting but that things felt weird. "antsy but lazy, calm but easily annoyed and very restless" was how I described it throughout the day.
I was at work with my nanny kids, having not had any contractions at all that day, even going to play at the children's pizza play land had brought on very few. We came home to their house and everyone went down for a rest. At 2:30 pm I sat down to rest and catch the last few minutes of General Hospital, I felt the first two contractions. 10 minutes apart. I would not have noticed the first if the second had not come on so quickly and if both weren't so long (about a min) I watched them for a 30-45 minutes when I decided they were getting longer/stronger. This was probably it.
I texted Zack and told him what was going on. Then I texted my boss and said I thought things were moving and he should start packing it up and head home. He said he was on his way. I went about the house, picking things up and getting ready to go home. Watching the contractions come and go as I walked. Zack and I formed a plan. I would head home with G and take a shower and we could reassess before we took G to our friends house.
It got revised by the time I walked in the door. The contractions were 8-9 minutes apart and about 1 min long. While I showered Zack took Gray to our friends house. (THANKS GRETCHEN!!)
I got out and finished gathering the last of the things we needed and off we went. I had planned on laboring at home as much as possible but last Tuesday I was told I was 4 cm and 80% effaced, meaning it could go very quickly or not at all. It took over and hour and half to get our designated hospital.
At 7:45 when we walked in we was greeted by my Doula- Shannon (more on her later) and we all preceded in together. I was checked and told I was 5 cm and 100%. They were about 4 minutes apart by this point.
I was admitted and I settled into my room for the night. I labored on a birth ball and in a giant heated tub as I had planned with Shannon massaging me the whole time, Zack helping when he was comfortable. When the tub got to be too much I headed back to my room. I was checked again and told I was still a 5cm "my 5" the midwife told us. That was about 10. I was very uncomfortable and doubting that I would be able to do this. I doubted I wanted him out at all. I begged the Universe to just shut it down and hang on to him in there!
From 10:30pm-12am I managed to get from 5 cm- (the same MW's) 8/9cm! I had a few rounds of IV med's to help with the pain.
3 am came and I was still miserable. I had been laboring for 12 hours at this point. I had not given up hope that he would come sometime soon, vaginally. I continued to labor on the birth ball. It was the most comfortable position. I was checked again and told I was still at 8/9cm.
We decided to break my water. I decided to have an epidural not much later, I was very sleepy and very uncomfortable. I just didn't feel like my natural pain receptors were filtering as much as I needed them to be. Not long later I was checked again and was 9.5 cm.
About 6am the midwife came in and said that OB wanted to talk to us too. She recommended that we start Pitocin in my IV to see if we could get that last bit of cervix to thin out and make baby's head further down into my pelvis as he had yet to engage. I burst into sobs. I had not wanted to have ANY interventions and to me this was the one that would send me into c section land. Pit had done it before I was sure. (and it may have- but I don't know)
Turns out on part of it I was right. 3 hours later the OB came back in to tell me they recommended a C section, that my body wasn't cooperating and because baby's heart rate had dropped with every contraction since about midnight they felt that it was the most beneficial for both of us. I finally relented.
I felt SO defeated! I could not make myself feel like less than a failure. This child was SUPPOSED to come out naturally and it was supposed to be beautiful. Now it was a mess and there was no going back.
I prepped for surgery and was wheeled in after a hug from Shannon, a kiss from Zack and a pat from the doctors. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I was told what was happening as things were done to me. The OB was great, the nurses were fantastic and all went well. It was a very long surgery though, more than 2 hours compared to a usually (Grayson's) 40 minutes procedure because I had a lot of scar tissue that had adhered to everything after Grayson's surgery.
It should not prevent any further children but the Dr. does recommend I not try for another Vbac and make sure to have the next Dr. read my charts from this surgery first.
Picture a hacksaw through skin.
That's what it felt like.
Yes, felt like. My epidural had not gone as evenly as we would have liked, and from laboring on my right side not long before the decision was made to have a C section, it was even less so by the time I got into the operating room. Luckily, I had an amazing anesthesiology nurse who kept me very comfortable when I told her I could feel things.
By the time I was finished it was well over 2 hours and I had lost about 1800 cc's (?) of blood. I ended up having a transfusion later that day.
Jaxon Ryan made it into the world at 10:38 am. As he was coming out someone on the other side of the curtain said "Well no wonder! He was NOT coming out vaginally no matter what!"
It turns out his cord was wrapped tightly around his tummy 3 times. He was stuck. My attitude changed in that moment from it being all about me not getting what I wanted, to thank goodness he is ok! No, its not what I would have liked and now I feel like I was filleted and put back together backwards but at the end of the day he is here.
He is healthy and he is mine.
Thank you for all the email hugs and support and FB love you all have shared in the last few days! We really appreciate it!
8lb 14 oz
22.5 inches long
14.5 inche head