October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

I am not very good at this whole blogging thing lately. Good thing I am not getting paid for it! I would be fired for sure. But this month is near and dear to my heart for two (or three) reasons. 1. It is Pregnancy and Infant loss Awareness month. 2. It is Jonathan's birthday on Saturday (3. It is my dear hubbies birthday next week.) I sadly didn't get the memo either and when I saw Melissa starting it I decided to play along too. Though I think I may have very boring answers. :)

Day 1 - a song that reminds you of your child, or one that you can't listen to anymore and why.
Day 2 - a movie that helped you get through the hard times, or one that jumps out at you after your loss.
Day 3 - a television program that helped you either get through hard times or that moves you.
Day 4 - your favorite book. has it changed since your loss?
Day 5 - your favorite quote.
Day 6 - twenty things that calm you.
Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy.
Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad.
Day 9 - a photo you took since your loss.
Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you and how it makes you feel seeing it now.
Day 11 - a photo of you recently and how it makes you feel seeing it now.
Day 12 - something you are OCD about.
Day 13 - a fictional book that is meaningful to you since your loss.
Day 14 - a non-fictional book that is meaningful to you since your loss.
Day 15 - what you like about your house.
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly).
Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc) that moves you.
Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding.
Day 19 - a talent of yours.
Day 20 - a hobby of yours and how it changed since your loss.
Day 21 - a recipe.
Day 22 - a website that has been meaningful since your loss.
Day 23 - a youtube video that makes you laugh.
Day 24 - where you live
Day 25 - your day, in great detail
Day 26 - your week, in great detail
Day 27 - your worst habit since your child's death.
Day 28 - what's in your handbag/purse
Day 29 - hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 - a dream for the future

Guess noone noticed there are 31 days in October? :)
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Day 1 - a song that reminds you of your child, or one that you can't listen to anymore and why.
The song that got me through is Broken by Lindsey Haun. I don't know why but the lyrics "when you are broken in a million little pieces and every tear falls for a reason, don't stop believing..." just helped somehow. Even now, I can listen to that song and am immediately finding out about Jonathan and going through those 10 weeks of knowing while he kicked around inside me. And his birth and the recovery. I don't know that I will ever recover, whatever that means but I do know this song will always be the soundtrack for that time of my life.



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Day 2 - a movie that helped you get through the hard times, or one that jumps out at you after your loss.
Actually, I am not much of a movie watcher but the movie that I can watch time and time again and it gets me through whatever I am going through is Sliding Doors with Gwyneth Paltrow. It basicly reminds me that no matter what choices you make and how many twists life takes somethings are just meant to happen and they happen for a reason.



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Day 3 - a television program that helped you either get through hard times or that moves you.

And this is where my answers go awry. :) Pretty much any guilty mild numbing pleasure that was available I succumbed to. I have watch General Hospital off and on (mostly on) since I was 5, that I remember but probably younger! Sadly, It reminds me that there are people who have it worse, even if those ones are fake. I also love Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, Life Interrupted... you name it I probably like it.

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Day 4 - your favorite book. has it changed since your loss?

Who can read? I could not read anything but google searches for the longest time. I was given books about grief and loss and other people who went through similar things but to be honest I still have not picked them up. I read blogs. Read time. Real people. I have 2-3 books I have been reading for a while...