The monkey

Here is the photo of the small blanket for Grayson.

Not quite yet....

So we have had several false alarms all of which had me holding Jaimeys hand, and Jaimey pushing but no go.

I think that Jonathan just does not want to end his stay with Jaimey and I can't say that I would blame him.

We are sure that he will come soon, but as of yet we do know that he is still moving which is a great blessing.

My sister Melissa, her daughter Allie, Grayson, Jesse (Jaimeys Brother) Linda, (Jaimeys mom) Keith, (A family Friend) and our neighbor and friend Jaimey and her new baby are all waiting outside for once Jonathan comes to visit.

Jaimeys great friend Di has been with us all day and has provided such great support to Jaimey. We also have the photographers from Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep with us in the room.

Once Jonathan is born Jaimey and I will take the first few minutes with just Jonathan and Grayson just in case he does not make it longer. After that all of our other guests will get to join us.

If you watch the photo show you will see Jaimey with a blanket. She made it for Jonathan and he will be wrapped in it when I bring Jonathan to the funeral home. Jaimey made another one for Grayson, and Jonathan will "give" Grayson a gift so that Grayson will have something forever from his little brother.

Pretty soon I get to meet my little baby boy. I am the luckiest man on earth right now. I cant wait to meet my little "monkey"

As a side note I got my first I Love You from Grayson tonight in the waiting room. I thought that it was very fitting.

Zack

Here we go!

Ok foalks,

The news that everyone has been waiting for.

We are getting ready to have our sweet little angel baby!

Jaimey was checked about 1 hour ago and was at 8 centimeters. We are not sure how soon we will have him but it will be w/i then next few hours if not sooner.

Obviously I will not be on the blog with updates right away as we are going to want to spend as much time with our little angel as possible, but if he is able to last for a little while I will jump on and post some updates.

Thanks again for all of the kind words and love sent our way. It is truly such a wonderful feeling to have so many people thinking about us and sending us love and prayers.

Posted by an extremely excited father of Grayson Alexander Buquet, Husband of an extremely strong and loving wife Jaimey Buquet, and soon to be father of an Angel Baby Jonathan Mitchell Buquet.

As was quoted by someone else who lost their child.

"Instead of getting feet, God gave our baby wings!"

Please pray for us now that we will get at least a few moments with our child before he is given back to heaven.

Update

We have been receiving tons of E-mails and comments and thank everyone for keeping up and thinking about us.

Jaimey is doing much better now as she finally agreed to allow the Dr's to give her an epidural. She
fought the idea for some time but after 3 different Dr's told her that it would not negatively affect the process she agreed. They told her that after 24 hours of really tough contractions due to the induction anyone would want some pain relief.

We will be getting another "check" at 2 and will have a better idea of how things are progerssing. The Dr's have been worried about pushing things too fast as they dont want to rupture her uterus due to Graysons Birth.

I know that there are many people wanting more info and I apologise that we have not been very accessable. We turned off the hospital phone and Jaimey has not been able to answer calls or emails lately.

I will continue to post updates and will try to get out info as soon as we get it.

Thanks again for all of the love, prayers and support.

We will continue to anxiously await for the moment that we get to meet our son Jonathan Mitchell, and hope that we are only lucky enough to get to have at least a little time with him. If anything you would think that we would get as much time as Jaimey is in labor to spend with our son, but unfortunatly it does not work that way.

Zack

Still Waiting

So for an update...

Jaimey is having some good contractions and has been having them for over 24 hours now. She spent last night having some bad pain and stomach issues.

The Dr.'s say she is making progress, just slower than we hoped.

She is still trying to hold off from getting stronger pain meds but we soon may have to change that as she is in a ton of pain.

She is hanging in there though.

We will update as things change.

Thanks

Zack

Quick Update

Sorry folks for not posting for a while.

Nothing much has happened. We are just waiting for nature (with a little help) to take its course.

We are hopeful that we will have him by tomorrow sometime, but unless things change we wont be having a baby today.

We will post more as things happen, or when I remember.


Zack

Our sweet family!

Our Photo Shoot

Jaimey posted this earlier but if anyone missed it here is a great slide-show from our family photo shoot last week.

Make sure to turn on the volume.

Here is the link.

Today is a day to celebrate life!

Just a quick update.

Jaimey is doing fine, she is having some good contractions and we are hopeful that we will meet Jonathan today.

Just a quick note.

Thanks for all of the well wishes and notes but please refrain for feeling "bad" or "sad" for us today.

Today is our day to celebrate, as we will meet our son (hopefully today) It may not be a long visit but we are so happy and are so excited to meet our son and celebrate his life.

I know that it is hard to know what to say at a time like this but we are very happy that Jonathan has chosen us, and we are going to enjoy every last second that we have with him.

Thanks again for all of the kind words.

When he passes feel free to give us your condolences, but until his last breath we will celebrate his life.



Zack

We love our little Family!

Hospital Here We Come

So we are changing it up today. I (Zack) will take over the blog as Jaimey will be busy doing her most important job of bringing our Angel Baby Jonathan Mitchell into this world.

We arrived at the Hospital at 7:30 this morning. Although the circumstances of our visit are not the best we are getting extra special treatment from the hospital staff.

Grayson is staying with our great friend and neighbor Jamie until my sister Melissa and her daughter Allie get here from California. We are so lucky to have such a great sister coming up to visit. She will be up here for 2 weeks and will be so much help.

Thanks again to everyone for all of your kind words, prayers and love. Thank you to everyone who is traveling today and over the next 2 weeks who are coming such long distances to visit us. Thanks to everyone who has helped us so far. (Cleaning our house, offering to make meals, offering a shoulder to cry on)

We really feel blessed at such a hard time to have so much help and love shown to our family and friends.

Love Zack





Jaimey loves making this face.... I don't like it very much!

1 day until....

I have no words of wisdom today. I am just trying to keep busy and get the house clean for my SIL who is awesome and is helping us out by staying with Grayson while we are in the hospital and then will be here to help out as needed for the next week or so after we get home.

These pics were taken the other day at Lowes. Grayson loves tractors in part because my dad is a heavy equipment mechanic and sends him tractor "toys". (They are still to heavy for G to really play with but he tries. they are more like collectables )

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers that all of you are sending our way. We really appreciate it. And keep 'em coming. I could use the strength today. :)

2 days to go

I can't believe its only two days away that we will go to the hospital to meet our son. I can't believe we have known about his condition for 9 weeks already. What a crazy 9 weeks it has been. Amazingly I feel like I have grown in many ways in that time, I guess there is no way not to.

I love feeling him move around in there. I cherish ever little kick and flip. Its hard to image him not in there anymore and yet not with me either. I know its going to take time to come to terms with that but right now I can't even fathom the thought.

Two more days.

3 days to go

Today we started off our day by attempting to go to the farmers market only to be disappointed by the lack of vendors since its the last week. So after a quick 15 minute walk of that we headed to the much larger and longer going Beaverton Market. I bought some green onions, broccoli, smoked salmon jerky, peaches and orange cherry tomatoes. Then we went home and fed G so I could go to Costco while he napped.
After he woke up we decided to go to Out of this World Pizza. They are a huge warehouse with a big ceiling tall climbing gym and a few inflatables for the kids to enjoy. He had such a good time riding the plasma cars and playing on the over sized blocks.

Here is a few pics of him holding his own on the plasma cars with all the big kids. He was the littlest by far. But he has one at home so he knows how to ride it. They go so much nicer on the OoTWP floor though. :) I think we are going make a track in our garage for him like they have.



There are some people in our life who are acting very, very selfishly and to those people I say "It is SO not about you!"

4 days until we induce to meet our son

In February my cousin lost his 8 week old son Koen to SIDS. Shortly thereafter I was contacted by a photographer, Elle Zober, who had seen a bulletin I had put on Myspace.

In addition to the amazing photography she does for weddings and children and such she works for the amazing organization of Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep.com. They are a foundation who has photographers around the country associated with them who do bereavement photos for parents who have or are losing their infant. Elle had emailed me to offer this amazing free service to my cousin.

We ended up becoming friends and continuing our relationship. I never had any idea I would need her photography other than just for the fun of it. She eagerly voulunteered to do our photos for Jonathan as soon as she found out about him. She also offered to do a belly session for our family.

We had our photo session on Wednesday and Elle called today to tell my the slide show is up.

NILMDTS is such an amazing organization of photographers and people. And I feel truly blessed to know Elle and to have been touched by her amazing photos.

Here is the link.

5 days Absence of Fear

So last night I had a very enjoyable evening with my friends Cindy and Libby. We went to a Halloween bizarre and then headed to Cheesecake factory. We spent about 3 hours at CCF talking and eating delicious food. Then we topped the evening off with Vanilla Bean and Lemon Raspberry Cheesecake. So that is why my 5 day blog is late. :) It was exactly what I needed. I have not really had a night out in weeks and girls nights are especially lovely because I can just relax and enjoy.

So this morning I woke up with Grayson and after we ate our morning OJ and some pumpkin chocolate chip bread we sat down on the couch by daddy.

I recently got an iphone when we had to switch cell phone carriers. I am not sure if I love it yet but Grayson sure does. He can always seem to get the ipod playing without turning off the lock. Defeats the purpose of the lock so I am not sure who designed that feature. So this morning he turns on the ipod and gets Jewel playing. Then he lifts up my shirt and puts it to my belly so Jonathan can listen.

The song? Absence of Fear.

Zack and I both got teary. I know he can't know, he is only 20 months old but amazingly he seems to do things like that at the right time and with the right things.

6 days... second post

I want to throw my laptop again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6 days

I guess I can't possibly put this off any longer since I am getting tired. There is something about the 6 days that has me all bunched up inside.

Maybe its how I started my day.

I woke up about 715 or so and Grayson had not yet waken. He is usually up between 6-8 but more often than not its closer to 6. So as I lie there semi-dozing I drifted back into dreamland. Somehow I ended up in a HORRIBLE dream where I left Grayson in the car in an apartment parking lot. He managed to get out of his car seat and open the van door with the auto button and wander off. By the time I came back (I never leave him in the car- for the record!) he had wandered into a pool and drowned. I jumped in to get him but it was too late.

It was the most horrific dream I have ever had. I woke myself and Zack up with my hysterical sobs. I have never felt so much anger and sadness in my life. I had done it. It was my fault.

I had to go and check on Gray to make sure he was just asleep in his crib. He obviously was, with his little tush up in the air.

I have tried all day to get rid of the feeling but it just really left me feeling shaken.

I know this is somehow related to Jonathan and I am sure Elle will have a great dream analysis that will make me feel better and not want to kill myself when I think about that feeling again. If anyone has any great insight into dreams I would love to hear it. I am floundering.

I don't know what it is about 6 days but all of a sudden I want to run and scream and hide in my bed and never get out. I don't want to deal. I don't want to go to the hospital. I don't want to be sad anymore. I don't want to cry. I don't want to be angry. I don't want to face reality that this is my life.

I want to wake up. I want to be someone else. I want things to be as they were. I want to be blissfully naive. I want it to be over.

6 days. So far and yet so close.

Groundhog Day... or 7 days to go

As the time falls through the hour glass I have been thinking about after. After Jonathan is born and its time to leave the hospital. When its time to let him go, and say goodbye. What happens then?

I have known since the beginning that the time would come, and while it seems like an eternity ago when we found out. It's also like yesterday. And the next day.

It's like Groundhog Day.

If you are not familiar with this Bill Murray movie its where this guy finds himself living the worst day of his life... over and over... and over again. Eventually he gets that he will keep living this day again and again so he might as well make the best of it.

Anyway, I digress. What do we do when we have had a baby and not been able to bring him home? Do we get a refund? There is this commercial on the radio right now for a fertility clinic that does this special en vitro fertilization process that guarantees you leave the hospital with a baby or your money back. That kills me. It is hysterical to me that someone thinks they can guarantee anything in life much less a child.

There are no guarantees in life. None. None that you will live to a ripe of age. None that you will live happily ever after. None that your child won't die before you.

I love that our society is so arrogant as to think that they deserve to have any such guarantee. They throw away everything they have as one time use and then expect other things to be completely permanent and without negotiation. As if it is possible to have it both ways.

I know that my heart will continue to break for many days and weeks and months and probably years to come. The hurt may never stop from what I have read and heard from others who have gone through the loss of a child. I won’t have the answers for that for a long time, if ever. I do know that the wound will eventually close up and cease to bleed.

And then I will think of all the things Jonathan will never do and how I will never hold him and that wound will bleed again. And again. And again.

Groundhog Day.

8 days and counting... anyone need a new heading yet?

sigh. I have no topic for which to babble today...

I had a lovely day non-shopping with my friend Diana at the Woodburn outlet mall and then this evening we went to a card making party at StyledBaby in Hillsboro owned by my friend Delia. I just love Stampin' Up and since Michelle (my former SU demonstrator) moved I have been having with drawls. Diana and I used to go at least monthly to Michelle's house for a stamp party. It was so fun and I miss it so!

Lissa, the SU demonstrator we met tonight was great. It sounds like she is very active in SU and does card parties a lot too. I can't wait to get started. The first one is November 2.

We were trying to come up with a date and since Diana and Delia were the only ones who knew about Jonathan and I didn't really want to ruin the mood, I just said October was bad for me. If we could do it in Nov that would be great. She kept going back to October, and since she was in essence planning this one around this group of gals I mentioned that I would be having my baby in October and would be kind of out of commission. Someone else gasped and asked how far I was... so the jig was up and I had to fess up. Mood ruiner. Not a dry eye. I felt bad.

And I thought I had nothing to say.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that is almost never the case and I can honestly count on one hand the times it has happened!

My new favorite card we made tonight>