If you had a secret that was killing you to hold on to, would not hurt another person would you tell? I debate this because I am scared. I hate to admit that. I hate being scared. Hate even more to admit it. When I was younger my best friend Belle and I loved nothing more to go rent 3 of the scariest movies we could find. Then we would spend all weekend trying to scare the bejeebus out of each other.
Not any more. I hate being scared. It makes me panic and my head swirls. All the what if's come to mind. I guess it all comes down to the fact that I know I don't bounce anymore. When I was young I tested this as often as I could. I was immortal and nothing ever happened to me. Now that I am older I realize that things happen and there is little choice in the matter most of the time.
Which brings me back to my current debate. To tell or not to tell.
I always have grand plans of keeping my secrets. I do. Then I see someone who NEEDS to know and the jig is up. I tell. Then I see another person. And pretty soon, the whole world knows my secret.
If I keep the secret I am alone in my joy and alone in my sorrow. If I tell then I can share and be real and honest and me. Seems so easy. And before it would not have even been a question but now....
Now I am scared. Scared to tell. Scared to stay quiet.
So sorry to be so cryptic, this is killing me as much as I am sure it is killing you.
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