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Saturday, May 16, 2009

Secrets

***UPDATE***
I am sorry to my SIL Melissa who is having to deal with this so closely, on top of everything else.






I have always been a fan of honesty. It all started when I watched my parents battle it out in their lives for truth and neither one of them would have known it if it had hit them in the head. (at the time) Then I got my own personal lesson when I was 7 or so when my mom had bought a 10 pack of juicy fruit gum (10- 5 or 10 packs mind you) and I ate almost the whole thing. Without permission, and in only a few days.

I was smart.

I hid the wrappers.

She asked me where they went and I told her I didn't know. She asked me point blank if I had been sneaking them. Again I said no. Vehemently said NO!

I was smart.

I hid the wrappers behind MY bed.

She found them.

I ate a bar of soap, for an hour.

I got smarter, learning all the creative ways I could hold the soap in my teeth so as not to actually TASTE it.

I learned.

That was the only bar of soap I ever had to sit and get to know.

Later on, I tried to sew something on my mothers sewing machine that she refused to show me how to use because well basically it was hers. At the time this totally pissed me off, now I totally get it. So while she was out, when I was 14 or so, I decided to sew something. Just to see if I could. I plugged it in. Turned it on.

And proceeded to shoot the needle 15 feet when I broke it clean in half.

I almost peed my pants. I paniced! What was I going to do?! She was going to kill me for "breaking" her sewing machine! So having learned that hard lesson back in the day I gathered my courage and called her, telling her I broke it and I was very sorry!

And do you know what happened? She said, "its ok, calm down. I am sure its not that bad. I will look at it when I get home"

I didn't die. She did give me a talk about not touching her sewing machine, but I did end up getting a few lessons here and there and some sewing time every now and then.

Which brings me to my point. At what point in someones life do they not learn about lying?! I can remember the exact moments that defined why I tell the truth. I am honest most of the time. No I won't tell you those pants make you look fat unless you REALLY want to know, cause its just rude, but I will tell you they are not the most flattering thing on you.

Sometime ago, people in my life made some really really bad choices. They chose to cover those choices up by lying and making it a big secret. And like most of you know, a secret is never a secret forever. Like that broken needle, it will always be found out. Whether its because someone goes to use thier sewing machine and finds it broken or because they step on the needle shard and cause huge amounts of pain and blood.

The ladder is whats happening in our lives now. The choices of one are impacting many. Way too many to count. And its sad. And wrong. And yet still that person chooses to maintain the secret, choosing instead to blame others all the while knowing in their heart they are at fault.

What makes me angry is that while one person made the choice to be hurtful from the very beginning, it was one other who continues to perpetuate the misery and gossip to all who will listen and spread the pain far and wide. There seems to be no end in sight and its hard to watch and in the end only a bloody massacre will remain.

Sad. Just sad.

The actions of a few, the pain of many.

Let this be a lesson to those reading. Tell the truth, be kind, and know that secrets ALWAYS come to light. And always to the demise of someone.

4 comments:

Marlyn said...

Wow Jaimey, sending your family peaceful and honest energy.

Wanna know about how my bro and I got busted smoking cigarettes in the attic when I was 7 and he was 5???? That is when I learned about being honest!

Leslie R. said...

Sending positive thoughts your way. Hope things work out, eventually.

When I was in elementary school I stole a pack of gum from a local grocery store and my Dad noticed it when we got in the car. He made me go back in and give it to the manager. I was mortified beyond belief. So much so that I don't even remember the punishement I got at home. The public humiliation I experienced was so overwhelming. That was the moment I learned to be honest. Ouch!

Trish said...

Who knows what happened obviously lots of people but not me thank god. Good post, very good. I think unfortunately the liar deals with a lot of guilt. I think people lie obviously to protect themselves because they did wrong but also SOMETIMES they lie because they are afraid of disappointment. They know you will be mad in some cases but hurt is a ballpark in which the seats don't usually sale. MOST people don't intentionally hurt others.

Angel... said...

Jaimey, Its very lovely post..