Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Today started out as a normal day. I woke up early to nurse Jax, we both fell back asleep in the rocker. G woke up a bit later and we made our way downstairs. Coffee and juice and vitamins were to be had and morning cartoons helped remove the fog of night. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Jax went down for his a.m nap, G and I showered, I checked email. I toyed around on Facebook. Morning was fine. And then afternoon struck. I opened my email again about 1230 to find an email from a friend to a group of us asking if any of "us" had seen another friends blog. It had a link.
Part of me wishes I had never opened that email, never read those words, never followed the link. I did though. I read in horror that my dear friend Sarah has suffered the worst tragedy a mother or father can endure. She lost 2 of her 5 children in a house fire on the 19th. I know little as far as details but I do know the ones that were lost were "M" age 9 and "R" age 3.5. The same age as Grayson.
It hit me like a ton of bricks. Like the dream I had when I was pregnant with Jonathan that I lost G to drowning. Thankfully mine was just a dream. Unfortunately for my friend this is a nightmare. One she will never wake from. One that is permanent. I know the loss. I know the horror and yet it's not at all the same. I had only months to get to feel my baby and minutes to know him before he collected his wings. She had YEARS and YEARS.
I feel like my world has been turned upside down today. I know these people. These sweet little innocent souls. This amazing huge hearted loving Mama who lost these babies. Things like this just don't happen to people you know. You know?! It's always in the paper or on the news, not in real life. And I guess I should know better since I was that person someone knew not that long ago.
But I can't help but feel lost. Shaken. Unstable and so so depressed. And if I am there I can only imagine where she is.
Please say a little prayer (or send a vibe or do a dance to the god of children- whatever it is that gets ya going) for my friend and her family. They can use all they can get.