Happy Halloween from the Buquets!

Today it was supposed to be horribly rainy and gross so this am after I finally got up (at 10- my hubby says now that I get to sleep in whenever I can on weekends since I am pregnant. Yay!) we went to Plumper Pumpkin Patch. It was dead quiet but we had a good time.

Grayson riding a tractor, not really a ride, the keys were still in it! oops!

Then we came home to have lunch and "attempt" a nap. Didn't happen. He came down after 45 minutes of needing drinks, pooping in his diaper, and fighting cause "its dark"- at noon. Sigh. He came down carrying his clothes from his closet that were to go under his costume.

We got him all dressed and headed to the mall for some trick or treating since it was supposed to rain at trick or treat time.

This is Joe (my friend Diana's brother) he is a very good sport! He was a dragon along with his little one John.

Grayson was very excited to do some trick or treating! Holding his loot bag that I had just made today. Just happened to have some orange Trick or Treat fabric laying around.
After about an hour of candy hunting and Grayson saying "Trick or Treat!" and "Happy Halloween" to all the candy distributors we decided to head home for dinner and to get ready for our next leg of the days adventures.


Grayson was apparently tired by this point. He was out, mid sentence while saying he was thirsty, before he ever took a drink.
REALLY out! I have never seen this child so tired!
He NEVER transfers to the couch, always wakes up immediately!
About 5:45 we were about to leave for a Harvest Festival at our friends church and G was still sleeping (he fell asleep about 5 or so). We tried to wake him, but he just kept falling back to sleep.

One might think a nice parent would allow their child to sleep... we aren't nice.
We put him in the car and went to the Harvest Festival.
He finally woke up about 6:20 and was ready to play. There was a ton of games to do and for each he got a piece of candy (or a handful depending on the person manning the booth!)


THEN when we left there we T or T'ed a few neighbors houses (since it hadn't rained in hours!) that we knew and then we were finally done!

This is the loot Grayson got. He was so stoked! I guess its ingrained to come home and lay it all out and count it because that was what he immediately suggested.

That is a very proud boy! Now to try and get him to bed...

Oh, and a funny bit, as we walked around the neighborhood there were some spooky costumes behind us. G kept turning around yelling "Go away MAN, Go away!" When I realized what the costumes were I had to stifle a giggle. It was a tiny kid, HIS size, in one of those masks that fill with blood when you pump the hand ball (like this) Who puts that on their 3 yr old?! The other kid was a very beefed up super hero of some sort I had never seen before. He calmed down when I told him it was just kiddos in costumes like him. But he did glance back a time or two more.

Monsters under the bed

Having been a nanny before Grayson, for mostly toddlers I knew this was coming. And somehow I thought we'd escape it.

Nope.

A few months ago he started saying there was a MAN in his room. We told him that there wasn't but he was sure there was. I figured it was just his tree behind his door. It does cast quite the shadow at night and I am sure if you are a toddler that could be quite scary. But it went on. He was adamant that there was a MAN in our house.

Now to get a little kooky for a second, I have always been a little "sensitive" to the paranormal. I was 6 when I saw my first "something," and another friend saw it too so it wasn't just me!
Then at 14 when a neighbor girl died in my mothers arms after a tragic car/bicycle accident, in a blanket that later ended up on my bed and weird things started happening in my house I was seemingly an old pro. It took me months to figure out the blanket was the connection, and it went in the garage. End of weird things... in the house. (Dad- THAT is why I hated the garage on Upas.) There have been many more over my life time.

The most recent of which was at my last house. It was a 1930.
It only had two previous owners before us. The last of which had it for 50something years and the wife died while in possession of the house (though not in it). It took him another 5 years to part with it, though not living in it most of that time. By the time we bought it it needed a good cleaning and much work. We made an agreement with the owner to do most of the work we wanted done ourselves to save him money but he had to pay for it- before we were done with the transaction. It got us keys for 2+ months before we owned it. Many nights we were there late; Zack working on miscellaneous things and me cleaning and ripping out 50 year old shelf paper etc.

One night, I was in the basement scrubbing as usual and "Zack" walked in. I "saw" him out of the corner of my eye. I began talking about what a pain in the ASS this job was and talked for a few minutes before I realized he was not answering me. I turned around to find no one, but still feeling like he was there behind me. I had many things "moved", rooms that felt "odd" to me, cold spots. And moving breezes in rooms with no windows open. You name it. I also had another friend tell me how creapy one particular room was, the same room I felt "odd" in. I had not told that friend anything about it yet.

So to hear my child say there is a MAN in his room, makes me a little weary. I can't say there ISN'T for sure. I don't see him or feel him, but that doesn't mean he doesn't exist. I felt very alone when I was a child and noone believed me. I didn't want to scare him, so we just told him we would protect him and keep him safe but that Mommy and Daddy don't see him.

Now we have moved onto Grayson being terrified of monsters under his bed. Bed time is usually a battle. He still says the man is there sometimes but mostly its just monsters. Poor thing. We leave on the ALL of the lights and still he screams a blood curtailing shrill as soon as you move away from him. :(

Last night I sat on the edge of his bed until he was in a light sleep then crept out. I found Zack and just shrugged. He won't go to college scared of the monsters being under his bed, I guess.

Unless they really are...

Happy Halloween!

(Dave- we will always miss you and I think about you often. Love and hugs.)

Clifford the Big Red Dog comes to Visit!

Gotta love Barnes and Noble story time!

Thankful Thursday! 29 weeks

Today I am Thankful for:
1. Being 29 weeks pregnant. Today. Hotdog will be here before I know it.

To date my stats are:
weight gain~ 6 lbs (he is growing just fine I am assured)
new stretch marks~ 0
vericose veins~ 0 still yeah!
sciatic nerve~ Alive and well and rearing its ugly head on the Right as well as Left now.
hip displacement~ active on the left. :(

2. That we get to keep the house! I feel we are very blessed in this fact. I know there are many, many people who have lost theirs in this economic mess.

3. That my husband works so hard to make our life great, even when everything is up in the air.

4. Email and Iphone. I know this is silly. But when I found out about Jonathan I lost my ability to use the phone except when necessary. Text, email and facebook are so much easier for me now. And in the beginning I was not too sure if I liked my Iphone and now... well lets just say the AA people might want to consider a IPhone Addict Annomous group.

5. Tiny little clothes. I have been going through the leftovers from when Grayson was born and small. I have the room in the furniture configuration I want it in, and all the clothes washed and folded or hung up. The cloth diapers are washed and sized to smalls and in the changing table. Basically we are ready. I still have the bulk of the nursery decor to do but its "designed" and planned just needs to be exicuted. I will take before and afters but no pics until its ready.

Lavendar Festival

This was in July. I forgot I had the pics. Ooops.
We went to the Helvetia Lavender Farm for part of the lavender festival. It is a bunch of lavendar farms in Oregon and you can farm hop that weekend for all the fun. It was a bit drizzley so we only went to one.

I love Lavender.

On the way home we saw this sign... um how do you MISPLACE your COWS!?

Handmade swap

I am on an online chat group. It all started with gdiapers yahoo group. We were all a part of it. We chatted, got to know each other and broke off 2 years later into our own little group. There is about 25 of us from all over the country. There are maybe 5-6 of us in Portland that get together every now and then but mostly we just chat online.

Its a lovely group of woman who compliment each other in ways not often found In Real Life (IRL). We are always supportive, never judgmental and always open to conversation and discussion. It's honestly one of the few places I air everything. Seriously, you thought I was open here... you ain't seen nothing! They knew first that I was pregnant again. They have known first when I was struggling with life and its hardships. It is an amazingly safe place. Oddly enough if someone had told me a few years ago that I would have friends online I would have laughed myself right out of the conversation. CRAZY talk.

But really, I hope to someday meet them all IRL.

Recently, we tried something new. A handmade/homemade swap. Anything under $20 (roughly) and you could make whatever you want or let your giftee participate in the fun and choose something. That is what I did. I was to send my handmade items to Lindsey and she decided she wanted some trainers for her little girl. My stupid serger is still wonky so it took longer than planned, and have a few flaws, but here they are...

On the other side of the swap, today I received this super cute Wool diaper cover from Natalie! I love it. I have always wanted to try one but the expense and/or lack of pattern has held me back. Natalie made this one out of a repurposed Abercrombie sweater. It is sooo soft! I can't wait to use it on Hotdog.

When I showed G he was SURE it was a hat and for him! Hopefully I can wrangle it from him for Hotdog's bum before Hotdog grows into it.

For those not in the know, wool is great as a cloth diaper cover because it does not leak when properly lanolized which is the natural water proof quality sheep/wool has. It resists buildup of urine making it the perfect fabric all on its own. It's also very breathable and cozy.

A sliding Milestone!

Grayson has been too scared to go down this HUGE slide at Out of this World Pizza.

Until now. Yay!

taken a few months ago...

House update and such.

We got the paperwork the next day for the home loan modification. We sent everything in by the deadline (5 days), though we did not delay and sent it in the day after we got it. Everything looks good. As long as we make the probationary payments for 3 months, it will get rewritten as our new loan. Yay! So happy to have that weight off our chests. :)

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This last Thursday marked 27 weeks into this pregnancy. It is officially longer than I was pregnant with Jonathan.

It was a bit of a mixed blessing day. I think I may be MORE anxious now than I was before that date. (if that is possible) I have learned first hand there are no guarantee's in life and until I hold this little boy in my arms I will not breath easy. If I don't feel him for a few hours, I panic. still. Even though I know he likes to sleep (I am SO hoping that carries over into his life with us)

I have another apt tomorrow, along with the gestational diabetes screen. Joy.
It is nice to have the heartbeat as confirmation.

I have finally started to work on the nursery for "hotdog." I went to a baby resale event at the fair grounds last weekend and found this

bumper. It was only $5!! I didn't find the quilt though, kind of a bummer. I am hoping it will pop up on ebay for cheap at some point. Zack put me on a spending freeze until we make sure we are ok for the mortgage though so while I pine for the quilt, I'm told it has to wait. :)
(insert sarcasm here- I know I have to wait, just whining!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I has been lovely how many doors have opened back up since the phone call about the house. Not only can I now work on the baby's room (cause he has one!), I can finish Grayson's mural and add all the animals that have been on hold until we knew more. We can work on the house and finish paint that has been on hold as well. So many things I am excited for again! Its a little hard to think about it all because we put it out of our minds for so long and mentally detached from the house so long ago. Its amazing how much and how little 4 walls can mean to a person.

I for one am very thankful for the life we have. No matter the ups and downs we have faced in life and in the last few years, I know we will always end up okay.

Amazing!

Have you ever had a day where one phone call changed your entire life? I have. A few.
And today was another. I left my phone in the car when I went to a friends for a play date and when I got back in I checked messages.

2 texts from Zack:
1. no need to pack
2. we get to keep the house.


I immediately called, because UM WHO SAYS THAT OVER TEXT?!
He said Wells Fargo called today and while nothing is signed yet and for sure... it looks like
we GOT THE MODIFICATION!

YES that is me screaming! I am so excited!!!
Its a payment that we can afford, not easily and it will be tight for a while, but who cares!
Apparently, they dropped the interest rate (from 6% to 2%) and extended it to 40 years and forgave a large chunk of the loan.

So thank you Wells Fargo.
I am very Thankful for the light at the end of the tunnel of this long long road we have been on.
I am very appreciative of all the love and moral support we have received from those around us. We could not have gone through the last 2 years without you all.

And as quickly as my life was turned upside down by a phone call, it was restored by one.
Full circle.

tiny dancers

The kids dancing to their own drum beats in the field by the indoor park we frequent.

Jonathan's Birthday dinner

Jonathan's birthday was like any other day except in my head and on my Facebook page. In my head, a range of thoughts flooded my memories of this time last year. Thoughts about Jonathan's labor, his birth and his very short life. And all the people he touched. In the weeks before I delivered I had a record number of people reading this blog. Everyone was amazingly supportive and loving.

Thank you again!

So tonight, after work we came home and made dinner together as a family. We made

Pepper Steaks with Blackberry Glaze

Glaze:
1/2 cup blackberry jam (I use homemade of coarse)
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
Steaks:
3 t ground pepper
4 (4 oz) strip steaks (we used Top Sirloin)
1/2 cup fresh or frozen blackberries, thawed

In a small saucepan, combine Glaze ingredients. Cook over med heat until melted and combined. Stir constantly... or whenever you think of it if you are like me. :)

Rub pepper onto both sides of steaks. Place on broiler pan. Broil 4-6 inches from heat for 7-10 minutes or until of desired doneness, turning once halfway through cooking. To serve, spread with glaze and top with berries.

We also had fresh asparagus, garlic bread and salad. Yum.
We ate our yummy dinner while talking about our little boy and trying to help Grayson understand.

Grayson and I had stopped at Bliss cupcake bakery for some cupcakes. I had planned on baking them but I ran out of time and energy. Grayson picked out Cherry Chip Bliss.

This is him begging to eat them after dinner, well his anyway, we were still eating.

After we enjoyed our cupcakes and sang Happy Birthday to Jonathan a few times, we sat down and looked at the photo collage I had made last Christmas of J's birth. Grayson asked who everyone was and all about Jonathan. I know he doesn't really get it, but until he is older all we can do is help him to try and understand.

Something we are still trying to do every day.

Happy Birthday Jonathan!

Today my angel baby would be a year old. In a way its a sad day, it reminds me of every thing he will never do or be, all the things we miss out on with him. But on the other hand, the hand I tend to use more, it is a day that we got to learn lessons about life and love we may never have learned any other way. He is the angel who guides our family through life. I know he is with us in every way.

As I look at the photos of him. His tiny toes and his tiny perfect body I realize the love for a child never fades. I love him more every day since I first found out I was pregnant with him.

A moment in our hands
Forever in our hearts
Always in our thoughts
Never far apart

A life that was so short lived
And question still remain
We will always think of you
And always know your name

A love so strong as ours
Can never go away
So although we're far apart
In our hearts you'll stay

A moment in our hands
Forever in our hearts
We will always love you, Son
Even though we're far apart

A love so strong as ours
Can never go away
We will love you till the end
We will love you everyday

~written by Daddy

We love you sweet baby. You always have a large piece of Mommy and Daddy's heart. You are our Angel and we love you forever and always.