If there is anything that going through this with Jonathan has taught me its to be thankful. Thankful I have my and Zack's health. Thankful Grayson is happy and healthy. Thankful that we still have a house (who knows for how long but at this point we still have it!). Thankful for the support of all the people who care about us. Thankful that Jonathan was chosen for us.
Yes, I said that. I am thankful that Jonathan was chosen for us. I would not have it any other way. I may never know the full extent of his touch but he has touched many people in many ways. He has touched me in so many ways I may never know. He has made me more excepting of people, more tolerant. I am thankful that we get to be Jonathan's parents. I am glad we are able to honor the life that he will have and continue to cherish the blessing that he is.
He has brought Zack and I closer together. We made the choice to not let it have the opposite effect when we found out.
I have a friend who is also pregnant. She is younger than I am and she is single. She is due in December and is having a hard time coping. The "biological father" is being very hateful and tries to hurt her and break her spirit at every turn. She doesn't know if she should keep the baby or give him up for adoption. Her family is not being very supportive at all. She is really on her own. And today was a tough day for her, she called me crying. What should she do? This is sooo hard!
I told her that nothing in life is easy, and that while sometimes things look perfect there is no such thing. My life looked perfect for a while and that picture shattered just when I got used to it.
Nothing is perfect. Her child may never know his father (he wants nothing to do with them- has a girlfriend with other children my friend knew nothing about) but woman (and men) raise children all the time with out a spouse. It is hard. But it is ok. It can work. Children thrive when they are loved, no matter who that is. A mother, a father, grandparents. Love is the only requirement for happy children.
Her situation has me thinking about mine. There is always something to be thankful for. I have always been a pretty optimistic person even when it seemed all hope was lost. This is no exception. I honestly feel Jonathan is an amazing blessing of teaching and love. I feel so empowered to be his mother. Sure it will be hard, as it has been, but nothing is ever easy that is worth anything.
I have learned in my life that everything is a choice (or beyond your control completely) and you can be a victim of your circumstance or you can rise above it and and take control of your life and move on. Life is short, you only get one. You better make the best of it.