Happy Birthday Zack!

Happy Happy 32nd birthday to my sweet, loving, amazing husband! I hope today is a great birthday and the year ahead is filled with happiness and love.

We love you!! ~J, G, {J}, J


"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
~Lucille Ball

Happy Birthday Jonathan!

Two year ago today I gave birth to my sweet baby, destined to be an angel. Taken from our arms far too soon. We miss you every day sweet boy and wonder how your life would have been. I hope you are happy and safe and watching over us with love. Hugs and kisses from Mommy and Daddy and your brothers.

Happy Birthday Jesse!

My little brother turned 24 on the 15th. We had dinner for him tonight at our house. I made a yummy sunset chicken (which was peppers and chicken and Catalina dressing in the croc pot) salad, deviled eggs and Italian bread.

We sang.


Then for dessert we had chocolate chip cookies and rice crispy treats with sprinkles and ice cream. (Jesse didn't want cake)

Happy Birthday Little Bro!
*our gap in age is closing!*



*cause I am 29... *



*again*



*and again*

Grayson's 3!!! (and a half!)

When Zack and I decided to try to have a baby we talked about things we would like to have and not have. One of the things neither of us wanted for our children was to have a December or January birthdays because of the proximity of the holidays and everyone's vacations. Those birthday's just seem to get lost in the shuffle.

3 children with January birthdays later, something seems to have gotten lost in translation.

Since Grayson got a brother for his birthday (Jaxon was born 1-16, G is 1-13) we decided at the time to have a half birthday and have it at the park with some friends, doing something with just us as a family on his actual day.

Fast forward a few months and Spider-man has taken over our life, our house and our child!
It's not uncommon for Grayson to be in full SM gear. It wasn't hard to figure out what kind of party to throw.

We called it a super hero party so the other kids could wear whatever costume they wanted to.

Grayson couldn't decide on which super hero costume to wear, so he wore both!

The food! Mostly red and blue (I tried to keep the red (dye) #40 to a minimum.)

Sadly, that smile turned to a frown not long after when he was running by the picnic table and tripped on the cement. He smacked his eye/forehead so hard I heard it across the park. He cried a LOT and it ended up very swollen and purple. We ended up in Urgent Care the next day just to make sure it wasn't broken around the socket or anything.


The cupcakes I made. Did you know you can learn to frost cupcakes from YouTube? I did!

G loved them.

Helping bring the gifts over.

Ollie running around in his Super hero cape I made as the party favor.

These capes too a looong time! Pretty easy but I don't usually go easy on myself so instead of glue I sewed, All 20 capes and stars on the backs. I was up until the weeee hours of the night before the party.

Caitlyn in her Super baby diaper.

The kids, and Jax the moose!

I LOVE Josie's outfit! Her Mama and Grandma make the cutest stuff for her! Her mama is the local celeb Elle Zober, who does all of our amazing photos.

Grayson LOVED all of his fabulous gifts. He is still amazed when I pull something new out.
Thank you everyone who was able to make it. Thank you for all of his fun gifts. He loves everything and Spider-man has officially infiltrated EVERY single aspect of our lives. (he has spider-man: boo boo ice pack, kite, band aids, ball, books, coloring books, cars,
and last but not least a bicycle and helmet from his grandma and uncle.)

1 day to go! {39 weeks/ 6 days}

Well, today is mostly over and I have not had my third baby yet. :)

I was a little hopeful that I would at least end up at the hospital since my midwife will be there and she could finally after 5 years and 3 babies, deliver ONE!

Alas, the "things" we have tried today have not brought it on. At the Children's Museum I ended up sitting most of the time as I was just plain uncomfortable, then things calmed down. He seems lower but he isn't moving out yet.

In other news, Grayson's 3rd birthday seems to have made him very happy. I don't think he really understood why he had no friends for a party, but we promised a 1/2 year party at the park with a pinata so that made him happy. And it may happen sooner than that, but its really hard to plan a party when you have no idea if you can be there or not!

This morning I made pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream. Then we packed up all our hospital gear (just in case since I was having so many pains.) and headed to the Children's Museum for a few hours. He had a great time playing in the water area

and the different exhibits including Clifford the Big red dog. One of his faves!

After we left there we went to McDonald's where it became very evident that I am officially OLD! We were there when the high school across the street apparently got out. Two large groups "stormed" the place. One taking over the small child area, including rolling around the play log. This is where Grayson had been attempting to play, so this immediately grumpified (YES ITS A WORD!) me. I watched for a few more minutes, noticing another group sitting closer to us, thinking I was staring AT them because their big heads were in the way of me seeing my child.
We told G we had to go, who immediately got upset because he had been asking for a week to go there. (He says "So, I have been thinking... we should go to McDonald's!)

I went to find the manager. See, I told you I am OLD! By-by teenagers. Sad. I just don't remember being that disrespectful to general people around me. They were not even buying anything- not one of them. Just taking over. So obnoxious and inappropriate.

Once we were home my brother came over to give G his gift. A very cool car ramp that G loves. He had already opened a puzzle from my friend Di and her son Jeremiah and later the family I nanny for came over to drop off a gift and play a bit. They gave him a fun toy tool set.

A bit later we opened all the other gifts that had accumulated from Zack's mom: Melissa and Doug food and cookies for his kitchen, and pan set, a M&D car track thingy and stamp set. From his great grand parents: a cute outfit and from us (and Santa's Helper- random money that came in the mail at Christmas- thank you!): 7 shirts and a cardigan sweater from Gymboree's huge sale right before Christmas. It was up to 60% off already and I had a 20% off coupon plus free shipping. Makes it cheaper to buy there than Target! (and SO much cuter!) Also a few pair of pants and the cutest boots from Children's Place. I also had similar coupon codes for there. I love a good deal! I love this pic. "clothes- meh! movin right along to the good stuff!"

We also got him 2 sets of markers, a few books and a superman dvd. And I made him a game called Bucket Toss. Which is just what it sounds like. A clear paint bucket with handmade bean bags to throw into it. He loves that!

For dinner G wanted pancakes- again- but a close runner up is hotdogs, which the barely touched. sigh. I had big plans to make an Elmo ice cream cake but it didn't happen. We ended up buying a small one from Baskin Robin. Way easier. Between that and the "cake" of rice crispy treats Di brought over (our family fave!) we are sweeted out!

Then off to bed. He was a very tired boy. I took a fantastically hot bath and hoped for contractions. Nope. Sit here typing having less than I was this morning. But I guess at least the boys won't share a birthday. :)

Jonathan's Birthday dinner

Jonathan's birthday was like any other day except in my head and on my Facebook page. In my head, a range of thoughts flooded my memories of this time last year. Thoughts about Jonathan's labor, his birth and his very short life. And all the people he touched. In the weeks before I delivered I had a record number of people reading this blog. Everyone was amazingly supportive and loving.

Thank you again!

So tonight, after work we came home and made dinner together as a family. We made

Pepper Steaks with Blackberry Glaze

Glaze:
1/2 cup blackberry jam (I use homemade of coarse)
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
Steaks:
3 t ground pepper
4 (4 oz) strip steaks (we used Top Sirloin)
1/2 cup fresh or frozen blackberries, thawed

In a small saucepan, combine Glaze ingredients. Cook over med heat until melted and combined. Stir constantly... or whenever you think of it if you are like me. :)

Rub pepper onto both sides of steaks. Place on broiler pan. Broil 4-6 inches from heat for 7-10 minutes or until of desired doneness, turning once halfway through cooking. To serve, spread with glaze and top with berries.

We also had fresh asparagus, garlic bread and salad. Yum.
We ate our yummy dinner while talking about our little boy and trying to help Grayson understand.

Grayson and I had stopped at Bliss cupcake bakery for some cupcakes. I had planned on baking them but I ran out of time and energy. Grayson picked out Cherry Chip Bliss.

This is him begging to eat them after dinner, well his anyway, we were still eating.

After we enjoyed our cupcakes and sang Happy Birthday to Jonathan a few times, we sat down and looked at the photo collage I had made last Christmas of J's birth. Grayson asked who everyone was and all about Jonathan. I know he doesn't really get it, but until he is older all we can do is help him to try and understand.

Something we are still trying to do every day.

30th birthday

Today is my 30th birthday. I am not sitting at home crying.
I did get out of bed and I am sure I will get over it eventually.

For my birthday, Zack started out letting me sleep in. Then when I woke up we took Grayson to the fountain in downtown Hillsboro because at 9 it was already 90*. Yikes.

We were only able to stay 45 minutes or so before the fountain was overtaken visited by a large camp or school type group of way older kids. And it was scorching hot!

So we decided to take G to Chuckie Cheese. (Yeah happy birthday to me. LOL) We had a tons of left over tokens from when I was a nanny and we just needed to get some energy out of the boy.

Grayson filming Zack at CC.

Riding the bob the builder ride.

This afternoon Zack made the yummiest BLT's and packed up to go to the Tuesday Market. My friend Geneva made these yummy cupcakes for me and brought them to the market. It was unfortunately 103* out and we all melted and felt like absolute crap in the SHADE so we died a little and called it a day. The end! Just kidding but we didn't make it very long. Too hot!

And the best part!? When I got to the market I realized that I was wearing mismatched shoes. See?! Its just NOT my day!

It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to!!! wear mismatch shoes if I wannntttt toooooo! :)

30- blah

Two years ago if you have asked me what I thought about my impending 30th birthday I would have told you that "age is just a number" or "meah- its all good!".

But that was before. Before I found out the baby I was carrying had "something" wrong. After the US to confirm Anencephaly we were ushered into the genetic counselors office to talk about why and so she could explain some things to us. In that conversation the whole voice in my head on birthday's was changed.

She said "...given your ADVANCED maternal age..." I was 29.

I almost peed my pants. I still do when I think of those words.

*shudder*

When I was visiting my dad in April I mentioned that every day I was not pregnant felt like a waste of a day. I felt like every unpreg day was a day I should be getting pregnant because I was getting older~ every day! Every minute. Every second.

Now my birthday is Tuesday and I want to cry. I know I am pregnant and it should all just dissolve and be fine in my head but its not. Now I feel like I am that much closer to 35, which in my head is my baby cut off. I never wanted to be over 35 having children because of how much higher the percentages are of things that go wrong. But now... Now having had a baby with Anencephaly so young, I feel like I am aged somehow. I want to be done as soon as I can.

I don't want to be 30. Or 35. Or anything in between.

I refuse to have this birthday.

Happy Birthday!

My friend Di turned 29-again on Friday. :) I had her and her hubby and little boy over for dinner tonight.

I also made her a lovely cake. I have wanted to try and Wonky cake for ages now. So Geneva came over on Thursday and helped me with the fondant. This is her mizing it up. This is almost as bad as my hands were the first time I made it. eeew! Makes me cringe a little just to look at that picture!

But this is how it all turned out. 10!!! hours later! I basically ignored my child all day
(his father was home).

It was white cake on the second tier and bottom and confetti on the top and third tier. In the confetti was chocolate ganache, butter cream in the white cake layers.

It was good!

Happy Birthday Diana!

Happy Birthday Grayson!

Happy Birthday to our precious Little Boy!


You are our sunshine and our pride and joy.
Your daddy and I are so proud of you and all you are becoming.
Everyday is a new adventure that we can't wait to experience with you.

Happy 2nd Birthday to Grayson!
born January 13, 2007
9 days late- 77 hours in labor
Rude!
at 5:44 am
via C section

He may never live that down...

Happy 30th Birthday Zack!

Today is Zack's 30th birthday. Poor guy had to work today so when he got home we had his favorite meal waiting for him~ Round Steak and rice, a Cajun dish. (funny side note- when we were first married I tried to make it and was told how but was not told how much of the key ingredient to actually use. I was told "you can't use too much Tony Chachere's so just dump it in until it looks right." Mind you I had only seen it once at that point so right was all relative. And apparently you CAN use too much. It was inedible.) Melissa also made a delicious Jello Poke Cake. It's a favorite from their childhood.

Then it was on to presents. Grayson and I had bought him a ring with an inscription on the inside that said "Best Daddy GA JM (and room for another babe or two. :) It doesn't photograph well, unfortunately. We also got him a framed 8x 10 of Jonathan and a lovely little poem and cut outs of Jonathan's feet. I just love that photo and so does Zack.

Zack's mom gave him some lovely sentimental things as well, Jesse gave him the DVD's of Prison Break and Melissa gave him an Ooh Ooh which is Grayson's name for the monkey that Jonathan gave him and us. We also had Jonathan cremated with his so he would not be alone. But I have been hogging the one that Zack and I have so Melissa felt he needed his own. He is very cute isn't he?
And now we are playing Wii bowling that my dad bought us recently. We love Wii. We are still trying to master bowling and some are better than others (rude). I am working on it... okay!

Happy Birthday to my Dear Sweet Amazing husband!