Torin James is here!!

I am slightly delayed but here is his story!

I woke up on Aug 30, his due date feeling like things were different. I started noticing contractions about 30 minutes apart from 6 am- about 1pm when I laid down to take a nap. I woke up an hour later with them closer to 15 minutes apart. I told Zack things were getting quicker. I busied myself getting the last minute things into bags for the boys and myself and toward the door.

About 3 I said it was time to get the kids to our friends house and head to the hospital. I had planned on going to the same hospital I had Jaxon at but when I called and told them I was headed there and had been 4cm for a few weeks the nurse freaked out a little, given my vba2c status. I was urged to go the the hospital that is closer. I hung up and told Zack what they said. I drove the kids to my friends house so I could give her my car as well with Zack following closely behind.

Once I got there my phone started ringing again. I answered knowing it was the nurse, she said that two the major highways around the hospital had been closed due to fire and the traffic on the one I would be taking would be horrible. She was very concerned that I wouldn't make it the 35 miles in that kind of traffic. It was decided I would head to the other hospital.

Zack and I left my friend Diana's house and headed to the hospital. The kids were in great hands and it was so nice to not have to worry about them while I was busy. My contractions picked up in the car on the way to the hospital. Once we got there and and got me up to the check in area the nurses seemed to think I wasn't in labor or something, this seems to be common practice I think. Assume you are crazy and can't figure out a 9 lb watermelon is trying to exit your body... One nurse says, "Let's get her to triage and see if she is in labor." I confirmed "This is labor, 4th baby, I am pretty sure I know labor. And I have been 4 cm for weeks. This baby is coming!" I was a little ticked off.

DO NOT PISS OF A LABORING MAMA! seriously. who does that?!

So I got checked in and was indeed 6cm and in labor (duh). A few minutes later, I was escorted to my room. Upon entering I was greeted my a midwife, one I had been told was great so that was a relief, who told me if I wanted an epidural I should say so now. My doula (same amazing woman as last time) wasn't even there yet, and I said as much and passed.

Shannon (my Doula) got there about 6pm and thank goodness because so did the back labor! She was amazing as she had been before. She rubbed and massaged and pressed as hard as she could on my lower back. She was great at keeping me grounded. When I forgot to breath, she would breath really loud and remind me. When I needed more pressure she pushed. I can not recommend her highly enough. I wish everyone I knew would use her. They would not regret it.

Zack was in charge of photography during this time.

Hours of laboring like this, eating ice chips (which was no issue for me! I was pretty anemic this time around and ice was my favorite treat!) and being monitored and timed. I learned that I had roughly 2 hours to get to 8 cm because of my vba2c status (vaginal birth after 2 cesareans) and they were concerned about uterine rupture and hemorrhage because I lost so much blood with Jaxon.

Around 930 or so I was getting tired, I had held it together pretty well except when I went to the bathroom and for whatever reason that position had made my body contract in such a way it scared me! The most guttural hollers were coming out of me that I couldn't control. The midwife walked back in after stepping out and upon hearing this started yelling to get me out of there, I could hear the concern in her voice. I could see something going very wrong and so could she. Once I got back to my spot on the bed things calmed down quickly, my doula resumed her position and I regained my composure. Not long later I asked for something to take the edge off. The midwife basically said Fat Chance Charlie. Something about being too far along at 9cm. She broke my water and I got to 10cm quickly.

You are ready to push! She proclaimed.

GREAT?! REALLY?! NO I AM NOT!!! Holy hell, I wanted a c section in that very moment. I wanted to rewind and pretend I had never asked for any of this! You know that feeling you get of dread when you see the mess you are in and worse yet when you CHOSE to put yourself there?!

She kept yelling at me that I could do this and that I WAS doing this. That I needed to push. Honestly, I tried so hard to not push, but since there is only one exit that late in the game I had no choice. So I pushed. Luckily for me only a few times and he was out.

The nurse said I pushed for 9 minutes but "the first set didn't could cause I was pulling him back in" Lovely. :) So 6-9 minutes depending on who you ask...

Of PURE. TORTURE.

Holy hell child birth hurts. Natural child birth sucks a lot! And if you asked me in the first few days you would have heard no way in HELL was I doing that again! But I have come to my senses and would do it again. The healing has been much nicer than a c section.

So I got my vba2c! I am very very happy about that part.

Without further ado, welcome

Torin "Bacon" James
8 lb 13 oz
22"
14.5" head
(cause that is really all that matters!)
@ 10:39 pm

compare to Jaxon's Birth.

Jaxon's Birth story ~Looonnng~

Jaxon's birth started like I had always hoped and as I had never actually known it would. I had woken up that day thinking something felt "off", I wasn't sure what, but something was different. I told Zack not to expect anything exciting but that things felt weird. "antsy but lazy, calm but easily annoyed and very restless" was how I described it throughout the day.

I was at work with my nanny kids, having not had any contractions at all that day, even going to play at the children's pizza play land had brought on very few. We came home to their house and everyone went down for a rest. At 2:30 pm I sat down to rest and catch the last few minutes of General Hospital, I felt the first two contractions. 10 minutes apart. I would not have noticed the first if the second had not come on so quickly and if both weren't so long (about a min) I watched them for a 30-45 minutes when I decided they were getting longer/stronger. This was probably it.

I texted Zack and told him what was going on. Then I texted my boss and said I thought things were moving and he should start packing it up and head home. He said he was on his way. I went about the house, picking things up and getting ready to go home. Watching the contractions come and go as I walked. Zack and I formed a plan. I would head home with G and take a shower and we could reassess before we took G to our friends house.

It got revised by the time I walked in the door. The contractions were 8-9 minutes apart and about 1 min long. While I showered Zack took Gray to our friends house. (THANKS GRETCHEN!!)

I got out and finished gathering the last of the things we needed and off we went. I had planned on laboring at home as much as possible but last Tuesday I was told I was 4 cm and 80% effaced, meaning it could go very quickly or not at all. It took over and hour and half to get our designated hospital.

At 7:45 when we walked in we was greeted by my Doula- Shannon (more on her later) and we all preceded in together. I was checked and told I was 5 cm and 100%. They were about 4 minutes apart by this point.

I was admitted and I settled into my room for the night. I labored on a birth ball and in a giant heated tub as I had planned with Shannon massaging me the whole time, Zack helping when he was comfortable. When the tub got to be too much I headed back to my room. I was checked again and told I was still a 5cm "my 5" the midwife told us. That was about 10. I was very uncomfortable and doubting that I would be able to do this. I doubted I wanted him out at all. I begged the Universe to just shut it down and hang on to him in there!

From 10:30pm-12am I managed to get from 5 cm- (the same MW's) 8/9cm! I had a few rounds of IV med's to help with the pain.

3 am came and I was still miserable. I had been laboring for 12 hours at this point. I had not given up hope that he would come sometime soon, vaginally. I continued to labor on the birth ball. It was the most comfortable position. I was checked again and told I was still at 8/9cm.
We decided to break my water. I decided to have an epidural not much later, I was very sleepy and very uncomfortable. I just didn't feel like my natural pain receptors were filtering as much as I needed them to be. Not long later I was checked again and was 9.5 cm.


About 6am the midwife came in and said that OB wanted to talk to us too. She recommended that we start Pitocin in my IV to see if we could get that last bit of cervix to thin out and make baby's head further down into my pelvis as he had yet to engage. I burst into sobs. I had not wanted to have ANY interventions and to me this was the one that would send me into c section land. Pit had done it before I was sure. (and it may have- but I don't know)

Turns out on part of it I was right. 3 hours later the OB came back in to tell me they recommended a C section, that my body wasn't cooperating and because baby's heart rate had dropped with every contraction since about midnight they felt that it was the most beneficial for both of us. I finally relented.

More tears.

I felt SO defeated! I could not make myself feel like less than a failure. This child was SUPPOSED to come out naturally and it was supposed to be beautiful. Now it was a mess and there was no going back.

I prepped for surgery and was wheeled in after a hug from Shannon, a kiss from Zack and a pat from the doctors. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I was told what was happening as things were done to me. The OB was great, the nurses were fantastic and all went well. It was a very long surgery though, more than 2 hours compared to a usually (Grayson's) 40 minutes procedure because I had a lot of scar tissue that had adhered to everything after Grayson's surgery.

It should not prevent any further children but the Dr. does recommend I not try for another Vbac and make sure to have the next Dr. read my charts from this surgery first.

Picture a hacksaw through skin.

That's what it felt like.

Yes, felt like. My epidural had not gone as evenly as we would have liked, and from laboring on my right side not long before the decision was made to have a C section, it was even less so by the time I got into the operating room. Luckily, I had an amazing anesthesiology nurse who kept me very comfortable when I told her I could feel things.

By the time I was finished it was well over 2 hours and I had lost about 1800 cc's (?) of blood. I ended up having a transfusion later that day.

Jaxon Ryan made it into the world at 10:38 am. As he was coming out someone on the other side of the curtain said "Well no wonder! He was NOT coming out vaginally no matter what!"

It turns out his cord was wrapped tightly around his tummy 3 times. He was stuck. My attitude changed in that moment from it being all about me not getting what I wanted, to thank goodness he is ok! No, its not what I would have liked and now I feel like I was filleted and put back together backwards but at the end of the day he is here.

He is healthy and he is mine.

Thank you for all the email hugs and support and FB love you all have shared in the last few days! We really appreciate it!

Jaxon Ryan
8lb 14 oz
22.5 inches long
14.5 inche head

Our delivery part 1

The lovely flowers Stephanie brought when she came to visit me on Tuesday.

So everyone already knows that we went in for induction on Tuesday at 7:30 am but what they don't know is how awesome the hospital staff was to us. My perinatologist, Dr. Friedman, had set up an amazing plan for us. He came shortly after I got checked in and set up, and told me the plan of attack was to give me a cervix softening drug called Misoprostol for as long as it was working. It was the slow way but it was the only way to guarantee that my uterus didn't rupture.

I hung out there through every 6 hour doses of Miso, slowly making progress. It was great to hear at another check that I was another 2-4 cm more. (sorry for all the TMI!) Being that this was a Vbac (vaginal birth after Cesarean) I was just elated to be doing it and be progressing much more than with Grayson. (77 hours and only getting to 6 cm and then a C section) I so appreciated that Dr. Friedman wanted to have it slow and steady and no preassure on my body.
My friends Diana and Corie who came to visit. Diana was actually with my ALL Wednesday rubbing my back through contractions and my feet and keeping my legs moving when I'd had my epidural. I love my friends!

After 24 hours of hanging out I was having pretty steady contractions I was in pretty steady pain and finally relented to an epidural. I had been stuck in bed anyway cause the pain was so constant and the only relief I had was a drug that lasts about an hour but after ever subsequent dose it gets less and less. It was not too effective. I was also using boiling hot water packs on my tummy to feel better and those were great. (thank you amazing nursing staff who would bring me those!) Luckily I was at 8 cm dilated so I was already past where I stopped with G. I was feeling great.
Visiting with G when Melissa,Alison, Jesse, his gf Melissa and Grayson came to see us.

Finally I took a nap. Later that afternoon (Wednesday) I was dilated to 10 YEAH! I had finally gotten there. I was elated. I felt like nothing could stop me from having my Vbac now. It was such a high. Now I just wanted to meet my baby and I was getting impatient.

And on that note I am going to bed. I am pooped. I will finish it tomorrow. I was going to just post it all as one tomorrow and a put off tonight but I figured a little more anticipation never hurt anyone. :)